Seen here beating the shit out of State Farm in the good neighbor department, 43-year old Michael Orchard poses for his mugshot while under the influence of LSD and cough syrup. You see what happened was, Michael was tripping so hard he thought his neighbor's house was on fire so he ran door to door trying to get assistance but nobody would help him because there was no fire so he took matters into his own hands and drove his BMW through the neighbor's privacy fence, smashed their back door, and rescued their dog. When police arrived Michael was standing "heroically" by the road holding the animal. Obviously, we need more Michaels in the world.
Orchard was charged with second-degree burglary and third-degree criminal mischief and put in county jail on $15,000 bail.
Neighbors didn't want to go on camera because they're scared of retribution in the tightly packed development. Several neighbors listed things Orchard has allegedly destroyed in the past.
We asked Cepiel why there were no drug charges if Orchard was allegedly high.
"He drove over yards and through the fence. At no point was he on the roadway and no illegal substances were found in his possession," said Cepiel.
Troopers say Orchard was very cooperative. The developers say they've already ordered the victims a new door. The dog was unharmed.
"Several neighbors listed things Orchard has allegedly destroyed in the past." What an all-star. I could really use a neighbor like Michael. Not only does he know how to party, he knows how to come to the rescue when he's needed. I hope he's the leader of the neighborhood watch. He's the kind of guy you could borrow a cup of sugar from AND watch attack a neighbor's garage door with an axe thinking there's a squirrel trapped inside.
Keep going for a local news report.
Thanks to Claire, who agrees this man deserves a medal and a key to the neighborhood.