This is the kid's section of the menu at The Deli Mansion Park in Altoona, Pennsylvania. As you can see, the options include 'I Don't Know', 'I Don't Care', 'I'm Not Hungry' and 'I Don't Want That'. No word what a 'I Just Pooped My Pants' gets you, but hopefully dessert. I want an apple fritter.
Thanks to Mish, who agrees an I Don't Know with chili and cheese is definitely the way to go.