Finally, An Eggplant Emoji Vibrator

October 26, 2016

eggplant-emoji-vibrator.jpg

This is the $32 Emojibater. It looks like the eggplant emoji but it's not an eggplant, it's a vibrator. Why does everybody use the eggplant to mean penis anyways? *shrug* I use the circus tent, but that's just me and you're always guaranteed a good time when I come to town. Plus cotton candy and peanuts. The Emojibator has 10 different vibration settings, is waterproof for "bath and shower play" and, if you can't tell by the way I'm about to rattle right out of my office chair, also works great in butts.

Thanks to Allyson S, who knows what I like and I like talking sex toys. I mean, not TALKING sex toys, but like, talking ABOUT sex toys. It's one of my jams.

  • Check out Feverbox - no gimmicks, just seriously pleasurable vibrators!

    http://www.feverbox.co.uk

  • Benjamin Silver

    It's 2016, can we get rechargeable batteries?

  • asdfadfs

    clearly you've been bitten by the brazilian wandering spider
    if you had, you'd be painfully aware of how an eggpland and penis might look similar

  • Jenness

    Thank you for sharing that.

  • MJ

    Dear GW and readers: As a sex toy retailer, I feel I must warn you - sticking this in your butt is likely to end in a trip to the emergency room! Never put anything without a flared base in your butt, as there's nothing to stop it from slipping further into your bowel. Save these sorts of toys for external or vaginal use only. 🍑🍆

  • asdfadfs

    why could he not just "poop" it out?

  • scott19

    When it slips sideways he'd have to use his expansion butthole.

  • Brock

    Must be what Pit's member looked like after an Eggplant Wizard encounter.

  • Captain Matticus, LP Inc.

    How does one use it? I need video instructions, for research purposes.

  • Captain Matticus, LP Inc.
  • Ollie Williams

    I don't want to alarm you, but there is porn on the Internet that you can look up for free. I know. It's crazy.

  • scott19

    Come again? What now? Come again?

  • Big Dog on Krampus

    and again and again and again

  • Small.

  • King POTUS

    Maybe for ladies with a chronic case of "parachute pussy".

  • GeneralDisorder

    I don't care how big the hallway is. I'll still throw my hot dog down it.

  • Jenness

    This is not to be inserted anywhere - it's for the outside. You know - the button that must be pushed for any fun to happen. *Pushes glasses up her nose then gently points to several instructional illustrations done in a non-threatening 1950's classroom style to make it super duper easy to understand*

  • GeneralDisorder

    I... Uh... So what are you doing later?

  • Jenness

    My hair.

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