102-Year Old Gets Handcuffed And Rides In Back Of Police Car To Fulfill Bucket List Item

October 5, 2016

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102-year old Missourian (that's somebody from Missouri) Edie Sims was recently handcuffed and driven around in the back of a police vehicle to fulfill the "getting arrested" item on her bucket list. St. Louis police officers escorted Edie to the the St. Louis Five Star Senior Center, where she distributed the socks and scarfs she made to residents. What a beautiful creature. Also, how does somebody live 102 years without ever being arrested? I didn't even last a quarter that long. I hate jail and I hate its shitty ham and cheese sandwiches.

She also offered some sage advice to anyone following in her footsteps.


"Keep going, don't ever stop whatever it is you're doing and spend some time doing community service because sometimes the person you reach out and touch, is the only person that they will talk to in a day," she said, according to KPLR.

Very touching. Could you imagine a world full of Edies? What a beautiful place that would be. Slow moving, but beautiful. We sure could use a lot more Edies and way less, well, people like me. The only community service I've ever done was court ordered. "You really are an awful monster." Wow -- thanks, mom.

Keep going for one more shot of Edie and the officers.

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Thanks to SJ, who asked me what I'll be doing when I'm 102. GOOD QUESTION. Probably celebrating my 60th anniversary of dying.

  • Sean Lally

    Stop resisting!

  • Bling Nye

    I'm mildly surprised the cops didn't beat the shit out of her for "resisting arrest" and then shoot her dead because they thought her pacemaker was a gun. Oh wait, she's white. Never mind.

  • Munihausen

    Before the jump, I was going to post "I am surprised that some malcontent, who probably has a small penis, could not resist relating this refreshingly non-violent police news item to the standard, misrepresented police "brutality" trope."

    And yet here we are - free will is an illusion!

  • Bling Nye

    LOL!

    I like how you had genitalia on your mind... As if it has any bearing or connection whatsoever. But I guess some people just can't keep their minds out of other peoples' pants. Send me your cell number, I'll hook you up with all the dick pics you want. Free will is an illusion, as you said, your addiction to cock is not your own choice, right?

    I like how you put brutality in quotes, like there's no such thing as police "brutality" only "justifiable" use of force. Yet there the trope is, and btw, it's more of a cliche than a trope at this point. Because of, oh, you know, the literally dozens of cases brought forth with video/audio evidence that pop up weekly.

    But yes we should probably just ignore it and hope it goes away... That's much easier!

    Maybe when cops stop abusing their power, and the good officers stand up and out the bad cops, maybe when things go back to Protect and Serve, maybe then I won't care so much about keeping an important issue visible.

    But by all means, do go on speculating about my dick. I don't mind.

  • Munihausen

    That was about 3x too many words. Keep that blame-externalities-at-all-costs torch lit, it is obviously doing such adherents well.

  • Bling Nye

    You're worth it, even if your mother never said you were.

  • GeneralDisorder

    What? Grandma too lazy to commit an actual crime?

  • Bling Nye

    She committed felony arson, when she set her lovers' passions ablaze.

  • GeneralDisorder

    You're just trying to make me jealous aren't you?

  • Patrick

    She tried to steal a snickers but some one else payed for it for her. You wont like her when she is hungry.

  • GeneralDisorder

    She must be hungry because I hate her right now.

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