Guy Arrested For Lurking In Woods Dressed As Scary Clown

September 27, 2016

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20-year old Jonathan Martin was recently arrested in Middlesboro, Kentucky after he was found lurking in the woods near an apartment complex at 1AM dressed as a terrifying clown, presumably because that meth wasn't going to smoke itself. He was charged with wearing a mask in public, disorderly conduct, and not knowing how to spend a Friday night.

Recent reports of clowns trying to lure children into woods have sparked alarm.


"While dressing up is not, in and of itself against the law, doing so in public and thereby creating an unnecessary sense of alarm is illegal." Alleged clown encounters have been reported in recent weeks in North Carolina, South Carolina, Alabama, Georgia and Kentucky.

Admittedly, that's a pretty scary clown costume. I definitely wouldn't want to see that outside my apartment at 1AM. Hell, or 1PM. I just don't want to see that, period. What's the matter with these kids anyways? I remember when I was 20 I definitely wasn't spending my Friday nights lurking in the woods dressed as a clown. I was a dark mage, I miss my old LARPing crew.

Keep going for several more shots including his booking photos, and a local news report.

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Thanks again to n0nentity, who, for two tips in a row, gets to reach his hand in the prize bag and pull out a toy. Hoho -- a Chinese finger trap, nice work!

  • Clipper44

    Fair warning to all would-be clown doosh bags.. you're getting fucked up on sight if you're walking around my street.

  • Nate Barrett

    He looks pretty happy in those first few pictures, at least.

  • Look at this fucking clown.

  • Meh

    Ok, seriously now i have a new hero!

  • Roark

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  • I like clowns.
    I lost my virginity to one.
    But that guy needs help.

  • GeneralDisorder

    That guy's not a clown though. He's a dumbass with a cheap mask who decided it was wise to wear it in the woods outside and act... well, presumably like a 20 year old.

  • Brock

    "Recent reports of clowns trying to lure children into woods have sparked alarm."
    Children follow that thing into the woods? Clearly this is not your suspect.

  • Dsembr

    He looks exactly like how I'd imagine someone who gets arrested in the woods in Kentucky would look.

  • DFCtomm

    Now tell us how you imagine someone from the south side of Chicago would look. Bet you don't have the balls to do that one.

  • Dsembr

    I didn't have to describe anyone, his picture is right there.

  • Meh

    Wtf

  • ToyBoxofGuns

    Next time, he needs a bullet or 5 in his skull.

    Any takers? Anyone willing to do the world a solid and put this scumbag in the ground where he belongs?

  • GlennBryant

    Only trained entertainers should be allowed to dress as clowns. Any one else dressing this way is stealing the valor of these highly trained and skilled entertainers known as clowns.

  • DFCtomm

    Can we see some stolen clown valor videos on utube?

  • Bling Nye

    Speaking of 'only trained entertainers should be allowed to dress as clowns' ...

    Saw a clown stripper once. Not even kidding. Funny horn *honka honka* included.

  • Roark

    This is exactly the kind of story The Anti-Clown Media would like you to see

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  • Phenicks

    Wearing a mask in public is against the law in almost every jurisdiction. It is not unusual at all.

  • That can't be illegal. Maybe for refusing to take off a mask, but just wearing one I refuse to believe is illegal.

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