Australian Coffee House Brews Cups Of Coffee With Caffeine "Equivalent To 80 Regular Cups"

September 29, 2016

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The Viscous Coffee shop in Adelaide, Australia is selling the Adelaide Ass Kicker, an espresso over cold-drip ice cubes drink with a caffeine content of around 5 grams, or "80 standard cups-o-joe." I did the math myself and it actually seems more like 25 - 50 cups of regular coffee, but whatever, the point is you'll have the jitters and need to poop immediately.

For those chasing an instant hit, be warned; not all the caffeine in the drink is released immediately. "Combining the minimum drinking time and the slow release of cold drip-imparted caffeine is how we achieve the sustained uptime" Benington said.


Some pointed out that while the beverage packs a serious punch, some say it could also pose a serious risk to health, if consumed too quickly or by those with high blood pressure.

A fatal dose of caffeine for a healthy adult is considered to be roughly 18 grams of caffeine consumed over a one to two hour period. A large Ass Kicker has five grams of caffeine and is recommended to to be consumed over a three to four hour period.

First of all, if you need the equivalent of 80 cups of coffee to function, you're already dead. Just stay dead. I drank four energy drinks back-to-back once and thought I was going to have a heart attack. I didn't, although the doctor said that is the day I got diabetes.

Thanks to MK, who dared me to buttchug one, which I would like to take this time to graciously decline. No thank you.

  • Johnny Freakin Call

    With this... I shall see into the future!

  • Bling Nye

    It is by will alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the juice of Sapho that thoughts acquire speed, the lips acquire stains, the stains become a warning. It is by will alone I set my mind in motion.

  • Jenness

    It's all delicious until that heart attack elephant sits on your chest and the last thing you remember is hipster baristas rolling their eyes and muttering "whatever" as they judge you harshly while Instagramming or Snapchatting your death throws

  • Adam

    I went to this shop in the beginning of the year with my brother in law because people had been saying how good it was.
    The guy refused to make his flat white because it's "impossible to texture the milk properly.".
    I thought the coffee was weak as balls. Maybe that's why this one is the equivalent of 80..

  • Gibran Malheiros

    holy shit, 5 grams? I once took a 0.5 gram pill and felt like I could run a marathon...

  • Bling Nye

    MMm, I love the taste of cardiac arrhythmia in the morning!

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