This is the dash-cam footage from Michael Davis's car, which Michael was pressure-washing at a self-service carwash in Shreveport, Louisiana at 2AM (like a normal person is apt to do) when two masked gunmen try to carjack him. What they would-be thieves forgot was that Michael was already holding a weapon of his own -- and wasn't afraid to try to pressure wash their f*cking eyeballs out.
Davis closed the distance with his attacker, then sprayed him in the face. When a second criminal came at him, Davis sprayed him, too.
Both attackers fled the scene, though their actions were captured on Davis's dashboard camera. Davis tells Fox 61 News: "The whole situation to me was almost surreal."
David, who has since been declared a national hero by yours truly, doesn't even lose the cigarette hanging from his lips throughout the entire ordeal. Clearly that's a man who's cool under pressure. Now, I'm not saying it's fairly obvious that David was actually at the carwash at 2AM to pressure-wash his giant balls clean without anybody seeing, but it's really only thing that really make sense if you think about it. I'm a detective.
Hit the jump for the video.
Thanks to n0nentity, who would have soaped and waxed those guys so hard.