Graham, A Freaky Looking Human Designed To Survive Car Accidents

July 25, 2016

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Meet Graham, a human designed by Australia's Transport Accident Commission (TAC) specifically to survive car accidents. The idea is that if you don't look like Graham, you should be more careful when you're behind the wheel. Me? I am ultra careful behind the wheel. I am so careful behind the wheel I haven't even been behind the wheel in years. I like to take Uber or Lyft everywhere and sit in the backseat and be chauffeured around and say things like, "Driver -- stop farting or you're only getting one star," and "Help I think I'm having a heart attack."

The result isn't a pretty sight but it's certainly a sobering one. As you can see, Graham doesn't have a neck because these snap easily in car accidents. He also has a flat, fleshy face to protect his ears and nose. And if you're wondering about all those extra nipples, they're to protect his ribs like a natural set of airbags.

Oh thank goodness, because I WAS wondering about all those extra nipples. That guy could feed a litter of newborn puppies with all those things with nipples to spare for tweaking! Seriously though, safety first -- that's the message here. That said, I definitely know at least three people who are already ugly enough to survive car accidents.

Keep going for a bunch more shots and a video.

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Thanks to Alex B, who agrees the key to surviving car accidents is not being involved.

  • Meh

    Really how are arms and legs going to help him survive a crash, must better would be just the torso with some eyes on it. Then strap that in like 5 car seat belts and you're fucking done.

    Really i'm the one who should be designing ugly stuff.

  • How do you drive with no arms nor legs?

  • Cheese

    GW? Is that you?

  • AtomicMountain

    He looks like that Hawaiian guy who sings Somewhere Over the Rainbow.

  • GeneralDisorder

    I love that guy's voice and don't typically speak ill of the dead but that is hilarious.

  • Meh

    I'll have no disrespect on IZ here. Here's the duns-cap now to the corner with you!

  • TheQiwiMan
  • dougfunnay

    are those accident proof shorts i see?

  • Bradical Best

    He was designed by Melbourne based Artist ; Patricia Piccinini. If you want more post humanist nightmare fuel - enter her name in a google image search.

  • MustacheHam

    If you're a giant mole man, you're safe to drive...as long as you can see well.

  • scott19

    I refuse to believe this is actually a safer human unless he has twice as many additional nipples.

  • Andrew Newton

    He can survive the crashing force of 6 thousand tons. Can he survive humans vast and avaricious sexuality? nope!

  • Adibobea9

    I would rather walk to work and make love to women. Unless of course the women have evolved into this mess as well…

  • Jenness

    I'm pretty sure I went on a blind date with this guy once. Pretty nice conversationalist as I recall but he was a heavy smoker and I'm very sensitive to smoke so it didn't work out. Didn't remember he had double ankles in his calves though (wonder what those things are for?)

  • You too?!

  • Meh

    Damn girl, i love to smoke (and drink but that's not the point), i'll teach you. We should hook up (i do have 16,5 nipples though).

  • TheQiwiMan

    Those are for added speed to help him chase women down for that second date of course! :-D

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