Spacey: Solar System Orbit Necklace From ThinkGeek

June 7, 2016

solar-orbit-necklace-1.jpg

This is the Solar Orbit Necklace designed and sold by ThinkGeek. The $40 necklace includes the sun, all the planets, plus our moon, the asteroid belt and Pluto represented as semi-precious stones in proper orbit order. That was a smart business decision including Pluto in the mix, because I'm pretty sure I speak for us all when I say I do not buy any solar system products that leave him out. That little shit is my friend. The list of stones:

The Sun (dyed jade)

Mercury (white turquoise)
Venus (crazy lace agate)
The Moon (white turquoise)
Earth (sodalite)
Mars (red agate)
The Asteroid Belt (snow stone)
Jupiter (yellow agate)
Saturn (yellow jade)
Uranus (dyed jade)
Neptune (dyed jade)
Pluto (white turquoise)

So Uranus is dyed jade. So it was originally green but dyed blue. I'm going to be honest, I don't feel like either one of those is my dream butthole color. Sounds like a freaky alien p0rn fetish to me. Now, are you thinking what I'm thinking? "Planetary anal beads -- Uranus in your anus, BUTTCEPTION." Exactamundo, they just need to be bigger. Come over and we'll order a pizza and start prototyping with sports balls.

Keep going for a shot of the necklace sans model.

solar-orbit-necklace-2.jpg

Thanks to Tomato, hands down one of my favorite burger toppings, second only to six slices of cheese.

  • agatha

    Jeej lot's of agate Stones :)

  • The_Wretched

    I'm glad they included our poor nascent planet / god, the asteroid belt, but sad that pluto made the mark.

  • Something reasonably priced on ThinkGeek? Either that, or it's all cheap plastic.

  • Jenness

    This is actually quite lovely and I dig it.

    However, a real geek girl would have it to scale.

    Added: Had to look it up because I was giggling thinking of what that would equate so either the beads would be so tiny you couldn't recognize them or, in keeping with the general size of the necklace, if Earth (and of course Venus) were the size of a small cherry tomato each that would mean that to scale Mars would be the size of a blueberry then Jupiter would be a watermelon and the Sun would be a large Yoga ball.

  • The Magnificent Newtboy

    That was my first thought too. What a fashion statement it would be though...

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