The Earth Is Flat: Giant Circular Fleece Planet Blankets

April 1, 2016

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Because some people still believe the earth is flat and not shaped like a pyramid like the Illuminati discovered centuries ago, these are the Planetary Fleece blankets available from ThinkGeek. And no, they're not April Fool's products, they're real. The $30 blankets measure 60" in diameter and come in Earth, Mars and Jupiter varieties. "PLUTO OR NOTHING." Stop yelling. I love Pluto as much as the next man who wants to crash his rocket into its surface, but it's not happening. You get Earth, Mars or Jupiter, and that's it. "WELL I'M SURE AS SHEEPSHIT NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT." Jesus, what drugs did you do for breakfast?

Keep going for a shot of the rest, including an action shot of a guy drinking a rum and coke and eating pizza and masturbating to internet p0rn on his laptop under Jupiter. I see those tissues!

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Thanks to Y-Street, who's presumably nestled between X and Z Streets unless the city named roads all willy-nilly to make navigation impossible for outsiders.

  • THAT'S NOT A REAL PICTURE OF THE EARTH BECAUSE THERE ARE NO STARS IN THE SKY AROUND IT.

  • I've always wanted to have sex on Mars.

  • I've always wanted to have sex on Bruno Mars too.

  • Ramuran

    I honestly feel like I'd want a Jupiter one the size of my whole room...

  • Bling Nye

    I'd only buy one if it was double sided with the other side of the planet on the other side of the blanket.

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