Because Jesus refuses to accept me into his heavenly flock any earlier than he absolutely has to, this is my 17,000th Geekologie article. That is a lot. If you read 100 Geekologie articles a day it would take 170 days to read everything I've written. That really puts things into perspective. Just not very good perspective, mind you. 17,000 articles isn't really a particularly noteworthy milestone, but it is a milestone nonetheless. Like a child's 7th birthday. You're not five, and you're not ten, and frankly, your parents don't care that much. In this case, you are those parents and all I wanted was a trampoline. Still, I'd like to thank you all for reading and fulfilling my dream of being able to live in my own mind instead of harsh reality. I honestly don't think I would last that long in reality, like the last snow crab leg at an $12 all-you-can-eat buffet. Thanks again *raising golden dildo trophy high over head* this one's for you.