1992 Me Is So Happy: Crystal Pepsi Is Coming Back

December 9, 2015

crystal-pepsi-comeback.jpg

Pepsi has just announced the return of 1992's must-drink novelty soda, Crystal Pepsi. Tomorrow (December 10th), the company will send a free six-pack to 13,000 lucky winners who download Pepsi's customer rewards app (Pepsi Pass), but the drink will allegedly hit stores nationwide in July. Unlike the original, the new version will be caffeinated. Also unlike the original, I have no intention of shooting the new one out of my nose in front of my middle school crush and ruining my chances of ever dating. I can close my eyes and still hear her laughing. And not laughing with me either, laughing at me and pointing and trying to think of a new horrible nickname to call me. Then the class bully gave me a wedgie and life has been pretty much rock bottom ever since.

Keep going for their time-traveling announcement commercial.

Thanks to everyone who sent this, at least two of which mentioned having unopened original bottles in the back of their closets. Those two people are nasty.

  • randalator

    This makes me much happier than it reasonably should...

  • Not gonna lie, I'm glad to see that me and a little more than 5 other people loved this soda. I don't drink sodas any more, but this will have to be an exception!

  • dougfunnay

    wuuuut
    i always mix pepsi with my cristal
    glad to see the two finally teaming up for real
    weird commercial though
    should have been in a club with a bunch of air headed inexplicably wealthy assholes

  • BRING BACK CRYS.... Wait WHAT?!?? We fucking DID IT?!?? HOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLYYYYYYYY SASSHHHHHEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111one1111!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've said it before but I've never meant it more than right now: What a time to be alive.

  • bluecheesedressing

    Coming soon: Original recipe Coke, only available in international waters!

  • TheQiwiMan

    LA Beast made this happen! Bless/Curse him!

  • Manuel Valls

    That's racist.
    I love it.

  • GeneralDisorder

    Whoomp! There it is!

    I didn't actually watch the video. I was just enjoying the fact that someone paid Tag Team money for something. Those guys probably need it.

  • Edward

    Coke...your move

  • MustacheHam

    Understanding that they [Coke] like to do a bit o' over excelling...perhaps they might go further than the era of the Pepsi Crystal...perhaps going back exactly 90 years. Yeah, that sounds about right.

  • According to Coca-Cola Chief Marketing Officer Sergio Zyman,
    Tab Clear was an intentionally "suicidal", "kamikaze" effort to create
    an unpopular beverage that was positioned as an analogue of Crystal
    Pepsi in order to "kill both in the process". The "born to die" strategy
    included using the poor-performing Tab brand rather than Coke, labeling
    the product as a "sugar free" diet drink to confuse consumers into
    thinking Crystal Pepsi had no sugar, and marketing the product as if it
    were "medicinal". Zyman said "Pepsi spent an enormous amount of money on
    the brand and, regardless, we killed it. Both of them were dead within
    six months."

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