That's Too Big: Man Kills Gigantic Rattlesnake In Arkansas

November 12, 2015

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This is the giant western diamondback rattlesnake that an Arkansas man (who looks suspiciously like one of my uncles) shot and killed after it bit one of his dogs. No word if the dog is okay, but that snake definitely isn't. If I was that guy I would use the snake to make my own cowboy boots. And I would sew a venom-soaked fang to the toe of each boot so every enemy I kick is immediately poisoned. The man borrowed his wife's purple .38 revolver to dispatch the snake, which he killed while wearing flip-flops because some people still believe in taking chances. You think he ever waits for the 'WALK' sign to cross the street? Or replaces the batteries in his home's smoke detectors? "What's meant to be will be," I imagine him saying to himself while driving to work with his eyes closed.

Keep going for a couple more shots with a more realistic perspective, including one with the murder weapon.

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Thanks to Ruby G, who would have lashed a seat to that rattler and made it her new battle mount.

  • dougfunnay

    if it got one of those yippers like the one in the picture it was doing him a favor

  • RareAwesomeman

    I would personally like to thank this man for striking a blow for all mankind against the serpent menace. To long have we let them slither on the ground looking freaky as shit and biting us when we tread into their territory. Nuke the lands, scorched earth fools

  • Munihausen

    Unnecessary; get your stupid dog out of the woods.

  • TheQiwiMan

    That's the second biggest snake I've ever seen!

    .....ladies.

  • You're right.
    I saw a Boa Constrictor at the zoo that was far bigger than that.

  • Scuggler

    The rest of you lose, shut it down. This guy wins this comment section.

  • The_Wretched

    Was it a legal discharge of a firearm?

  • James Mcelroy

    Can't we all just get along?

  • peterjohn936

    The snake is God's way of telling him to move.

  • Adibobea9

    So I guess it's a good thing Adam didn't have a gun...

  • Tyguy

    ..or nature's

  • GeneralDisorder

    That dude has a pink gun. Good job man. Way to show off your colors.

    Edit: And that children is why you should read the article first. For those who didn't "borrowed his wife's .38". I'm an idiot.

  • Tyguy

    Does it really matter?

  • GeneralDisorder

    No. Nothing has ever mattered. Everything that anyone has ever done will some day be forgotten.

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