Pizza Pouch Necklace Keeps A Slice Of Pizza Ready To Eat

September 30, 2015

pizza-pouch.jpg

Seen here being modeled by your cool uncle, the Pizza Pouch is a real $8 product from Stupidiotic that consists of a lanyard with a resealable plastic pouch attached to hold a piece of pizza. That way you always have a slice nearby in case of emergency. Have I told you there's a guy in my office that always takes his lunch into the bathroom to eat? That guy is me. I keep my digestive system so full from mouth to anus that if something goes in, something has to come out IMMEDIATELY. I have shit my pants so many times just accidentally swallowing gum.

Thanks to Mikey, who agrees it's only a matter of time before somebody makes a Taco Pouch.

  • Rose Supreme

    Michelangelo from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles would always want to go out while wearing one of these so he has something to eat while he's out fighting alongside his ninja turtle brothers, lol.

  • Krespie

    I know a rat in New York that would like this thing.

  • Xockszky

    Stupidiotic? that sounds about right.

  • I remember being 15-16 and walking to the Pizza Hutt a few blocks up from where I lived to get free pizzas because they either got it wrong or someone didn't pay. You know how I got them home?

    In a fucking backpack. Pizza is not a necklace.

  • BMan56

    They're releasing the Bacon Bib next month. It can keep 16 slices of bacon warm around your neck for up to two hours.

  • Meh

    This is a retarded idea, few months ago we didn't have the chance to hate.

  • randalator

    This is selfie-stick-level idiocy right there but at least it has potential for pizza-y goodness. So hooray for not quite being the absolut worst thing ever, I guess?

  • Ed

    I would rate this far below the selfie stick.

  • dougfunnay

    its a triangle shaped bag on a string
    this thing is way more beneficial to humanity than selfie sticks

  • Gene Kaufman

    I'm sorry, but to me the fact that it has pizza inside of it pardons it from all of its superficial nastiness.

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