It Belongs In A Museum: Service To Have Your Tattoos Removed And Preserved After You Die

September 30, 2015

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The National Association for the Preservation of Skin Art (NAPSA) is nonprofit membership association that offers services to have your tattoos removed and preserved after you die, and presented to the person you want to have them. I want all mine given to my dog on special occasions for her to eat as treats.

The process is open to only members -- 18 years old and up -- of the nonprofit association, who pay an initial fee in addition to yearly dues. Those ready to pass along their dermis for posterity identify the piece they wish to preserve (which cannot be inked on the face or genitalia) and designate a beneficiary; within 18 hours of one's passing, the beneficiary then alerts NAPSA who will overnight send a removal kit and paperwork to the funeral home. The embalmer has to then remove the tattoo -- or tattoos -- within 60 hours, place it in a "nontoxic temporary preservation compound," and send it back to NAPSA, who will preserve the tattooed skin and return it to the beneficiary within three to six months. According to NAPSA, most funeral homes and embalmers are willing to follow through with the fairly easy removal process, although the organization also has a master embalmer who is building a network of funeral home providers for the service.

No face or wiener tattoos?! But that's all I have! Just kidding, those are only about two-thirds of what I have. On second thought I'm not so sure how I feel about somebody having such easy access to pieces of my skin after I'm dead. That is how black magic potions get made. Are they going to try to bring me back to life? Are they going to try to bring me back to life TO BE THEIR ETERNAL SLAVE? I feel like you should at least have to dig my body up if you're gonna try pulling that shit.

Keep going for several more examples of real preserved tattoos.

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Thanks to Ramon Z, who has a full-back treasure map tattoo which I plan on cutting off while he sleeps and sailing straight for the gold.

  • Guesticle

    why do they take the smallest strip possible? what if I want enough "canvas" left on to fill the frame or cover the first printing of my memoir?

    I wonder if I could convince them to leave some leather straps attached sothe recipient can for example wear my arm tattoo as an armband right where I used to?

  • Guesticle

    why is it ok to have them flay a bit off my arm but the face and genitals are out? wtf

  • Jenness

    I never got past the " National Association for the Preservation of Skin Art (NAPSA)" because ...really...a whole Association for that? There is like a secretary and treasurer and ....huh...well there ya go. I'm going to create some whacked out thing too now. Society for the Petting of My Pets and ask for donations for me to pet my pets. Belly rubs from the cat cost $5 because he bites me after 2 pets, he has his limits.

  • Lash

    I find it ironic that the first thing they do to you when you patriotically join the military is dishonor you, heavily. So are soldiers saying theyre dead or are they just stupid?

  • Guesticle

    ?

  • MustacheHam

    Perhaps they can also do a side service of preserving tattoos from amputated limbs...freaky as it might sound...some folks might really want this.

  • Guesticle

    if its of the sleeve type do you think they could be persuaded to leave it intact and tan/stretch it into an actual sleeve and wear on one of the limbs you have?

  • Emmitt Morgans

    I guess they're framing the tattoos because the "turning skin into lampshades and upholstery" thing has already been done...

    YAY WISCONSIN!

  • Guesticle

    don't forget the english law book in...yale i think? thats bound in the skin removed from an unclaimed homelesswoman's lower back

  • The_Wretched

    Yes but I want them embedded in a glass block.

  • TheOtherJK

    I did nazi that coming.

  • TheQiwiMan

    Truly it would be a huge loss to humanity if these pristine works of art were lost...

    (A heart with "mom"? Really? I thought those only existed in cartoons drawn by lazy Artists..)

  • SquidgyB

    Puff the magic dragon tattoo guy will be disappointed.

  • Siegfoult

    Or DIY and take a knife to the wake.

  • timeiskey

    lets all love lain

  • Are we to believe these photos are of dead human skin cut off of an actual corpse? Because A) GROSS, and B) I don't believe you.

  • Ozolz .

    I vote B. Also why bother with the frames...just use them as drink coasters.

  • Meh

    And C these tattoo's are ugly. There are better tats out there.

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