I'm Pretty Sure That Straw Is Beyond Crazy: Father Builds 165-Foot Long Crazy Straw For Daughter's Birthday

August 5, 2015

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These are a bunch of shots of the 50-meter (~165-foot) crazy straw a father built for his daughter's birthday. It starts on an upstairs deck in a bottle of fruit juice and travels all the way down to the garden lounge below. Do you think you could actually suck through 165 feet of straw? SPOILER: No. As you may recall from this Mister Wizard episode (also embedded after the jump), Mr. Wizard's boy assistant was only able to suck about 4.5-meters (~15-feet), and a vacuum pump only sucked 8.75-meters (~29-feet). Granted that was straight up, but still. They were also using a solid one-piece straw and this one has about a million different connections for air to leak in. That said, it is still the most beautiful thing I've seen all day and made me very happy and I just tried to make a crazy straw from the chocolate milk carton in my fridge all the way to my bed but my cat realized what was going on and now the whole hallway is sticky and I have ants.

Keep going for a bunch more shots.


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Thanks to Marie, who agrees the best straws are bubble tea straws because you can drink so much faster. Right? I can finish a can of root beer in one big sip.

  • David Gabel

    That is epic. Well done.

  • asdfasdf

    ....so he realizes and accepts his daughter will grow into a young woman capable of sucking a golfball through a gardenhose. (and has chosen to show her this in the least awkward way possible) thats just good parenting

  • boucleinfinie

    I'm disappointed there's no "the last straw" joke.

  • Syd

    Is "build" the right word for this?

  • asdfasdf

    well it wasn't grown or found, so maybe?

    constructed and forged sound worse

  • tim

    Too many acute angles to make this actually functional...but even if those worked, the distance doesn't really matter so much as the elevation. Since the daughter is on the lower floor, the fluid just needs to get below the starting point before it just freefalls/siphons into the daughter's mouth.

  • Rodrigo

    Not really, that would only happen AFTER you take the air inside the straws out. I dont believe its humanly possible to take it out by sucking, so probably some kind of machine could do that initial sucking, then it would indeed be a freefall.

  • Darth_Spartan

    I am sure going through the word Happy Birthday isn't going to be easy at all. Cool thing to do for his daughter.

  • Scuggler

    As you can tell from this gorgeous property . . the housekeeper probably built this and will subsequently have to clean it up and throw it away.

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