Darth Vader Leads Funeral Procession For Grandmother

July 17, 2015

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56-year old Halloween loving and "tarot-card-carrying 'White Witch'" grandmother Lorna Johnson passed away due to lung cancer last month, and was recently laid to rest with Darth Vader leading her funeral procession. What appears to be a very hungover Beetlejuice also attended the service. It's what she would have wanted.

"My mum's favourite time of year was Halloween," son Neil Johnson told the Guardian. She always "said you need to celebrate, you need to have a party. So we're not going to sit around feeling sorry for ourselves. My mum wouldn't want that."

She sounds like she was a fun lady. Celebrating a life instead of mourning a death -- that's what more funerals should be like. Honestly, I have only been to a single funeral in my entire life because I don't deal well with death plus I accidentally brought the body back to life at that one because I'd been screwing around with dark magic. That was a whole big thing and some of my family still doesn't talk to me. Rest in peace, Lorna.

Keep going for several more shots.

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Thanks to GlassHalfBroken, arguably the least optimistic of all the glass metaphors besides GlassTotallyShattered.

  • Ellie

    RIP

  • GeneralDisorder

    That hearse is weird.

    Personally I don't want to be buried. I want my corpse dropped into a burlap sack and flung into the woods by a catapult or tebuchet. No embalming... Just bag and toss.

  • acedick72

    meh, bit disrespectful. you care so much about this stiff, but the 'cheap' version of the costume is the best you can do? go for the top of the line and then just sell it after the funeral if you're really worried about breaking the bank ... seems like a pretty big thing to be CHEAP on, really doesn't show much love for the dead at all ...

  • Hayley Prychun Rodgers

    Either an idiot troll or an entitled asshole. Either way, not worth the time arguing people.

  • Leland_Gaunt

    Or maybe they did the best they could with what they had. Don't be such a judgemental douche.

  • acedick72

    again, 'the best'? not really. a funeral is expensive. any funeral that's doing a procession isn't being done for $0. they could easy find the money for a one time purchase of a way better outfit and then sell it. they'd probably get extra cash if they go for the "only worn once for a funeral tribute" thing.

  • Leland_Gaunt

    Again, don't be such a judgmental douche.

    Also, wtf would they buy some expensive outfit, on the off chance that they may or may not be able to sell it for what it's worth later on. It's a funeral, I'm willing to bet no one has the time and/or the emotional energy to do something that stupid.
    Maybe YOU'RE the kind of redneck who buys an outfit, tucks in the tag, wears it for an occasion, and then returns it afterwards- but most people don't do that. Some folks have this thing called "class". Might want to check into it.

  • acedick72

    class? don't be an idiot, this is a funeral. there isn't a more shameful display of self pity in the world! i'm just saying if your gesture is supposed to mean something, it'd better hold up to better scrutiny than 'gee what's the cheapest vader mask i can find!'

  • Apo Quién-sabe

    Acedick, I will wear the cheapest turd outfit for your funeral. CAN'T WAIT!

  • Leland_Gaunt

    LOL... better scrutiny?! Yeah, I'm sure that's what they were thinking.

    "You know, Steve, maybe we should get the expensive outfit instead. I mean, what if we insult some pathetic internet virgin? Imagine all the fake outrage and Cheetos they'll throw at us! I'm scared!"
    "Me too, Jeff. Hold me?"
    "Only if you hold me."
    "Done."

  • I think it means more that the outfit comes from the heart than just buying some high dollar store brand.

  • acedick72

    it means 'i didn't give a shit about this person, this is the most i'm willing to do'. might as well turn up in a cardboard AT-AT costume LOL

  • Apo Quién-sabe

    you're a dumbass.

  • Gene Kaufman

    Well, from what I gather, most people go cheap for halloween. Maybe no EVERYBODY, but quite a few. Maybe they view it as more authentic that way.

  • Leland_Gaunt

    There are lots of ways you can live life, and it seems this lady got it right. RIP, ma'am.

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