A Watch That Doesn't Tell Time, With Real Ants Inside

March 26, 2015

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Please no, "What is this? A watch for ants?!"

First of all, a watch that doesn't tell time isn't a watch, it's a bracelet. Secondly, I'm not convinced the $59 Ant Watch from the Analog Watch Company isn't an early April Fools' joke. It sounds pretty suspect. Thirdly, that GIF looks like you superimposed shots from an ant farm onto a watch. I'm pretty sure they're just collecting email addresses for people who try to pre-order so they can write them later and be like, 'April Fools' --- that watch doesn't exist, but why not buy one of our other, non-ant versions?' I'M ON TO YOU.

The Ant Watch houses 3-5 live harvester ants at a time carried on your wrist in a refillable watch-like enclosure with specially designed shake resistant nesting material.


Each purchase comes with a vial of 5 live ants, sand, a food/water dropper, tweezers, a case opening tool, and simple and easy care guide.

To add the ants to your farm, place tube in refrigerator for 10 minutes to put the ants to sleep - then handle them with tweezers as you move them to their new home.

The ants are fed liquid sugar 1-2 times a month. We've designed a removable crown so you can feed your ants with a specially designed dropper. The ants will live from 4-6 months. All orders come with an automatic 1 year supply of real ants, so we'll ship a new batch to you every 4 months. If you don't need them, you can always set them free!

Still sounds suspect. Although I remember back in the day they made and sold both a water-filled bracelet and necklace pendant you could use to carry your favorite Sea Monkey around at school. I never got one. My Sea Monkeys liked to stay at home on my dresser. I remember I had one Monkey that outlived all the others by almost a whole year. Still, I couldn't help but feel it must have been depressing swimming around all day above the corpses of everyone you've ever known.

Keep going for a couple more shots.

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Thanks to ResiDentistEVIL, whose drill you can hear before you see him.

  • The Supreme Gentleman

    Die, ant-watch makers.

  • Jai Mico

    Looks Better than the i-watch

  • Zachary Zarko

    People who enjoy seeing ants in agony are antagonists.

  • timeiskey

    yes

  • Keyzo Gakiya

    I really hope this is an April´s fool joke, if people so badly want to have ants in their wrist wearables, they should make it a smartwatch app

  • stuffsticks

    This is why i hate most animal activists... They are so full of themselves preaching about not eating meat and loving animals yet they will happily sit by and watch loads of ants get tortured to death. not too mention other insects. No its all about saving cows and sheep, and even then its only because Disney and other media sources have convinced stupid people that animals are as smart if not smarter than people..

  • Lathaniel

    How... is this related to animal activism? Did they make the watches? This argument just feels like when my grandfather points at snow and yells about how it makes climate change impossible.

  • stuffsticks

    Point is i get told I'm pro animal abuse by stupid vegetarians because i eat meat, yet these are the same idiots that will wear a watch like this because it's "cool". Animal abuse starts with the smallest creatures and works its way right up to people

  • Sebastiann Eleganté Neely

    Reminds me of a sea monkey kit I bought that came with a wrist-mounted tank that you could carry a few of them in. I thought it was pretty horrible, especially considering how delicate fairy shrimp are, and this is just as bad.

  • Wiley

    I don't care what you think, fuck you if you buy this. And fuck you whoever thought it was a good idea.

  • stuffsticks

    and certainly fuck all those meat is murder activist cunts for not giving a shit about insects being tortured

  • failtuna

    "What's the time mate?"
    "Oh it's ANTS THE TIME IS ANTS LOOK AT ALL THE FUCKING ANTS!!!!!!!!"

  • Andyman7714

    And as the ants pace back and forth in their tiny environment they will coldly stare out of the glass case as they burn the image of your face into their memories. One day they will get out and when they do...

  • That is one of the most pointless and cruel things I've ever seen.

  • asdfasdf

    better than the fish shoes at least

  • But only just.

  • Matty Spinny

    anyone else just thinking animal cruelty? no; just me? well then... i want a gerbil backpack. fuck the ant watch

  • GeneralDisorder

    I've said in previous Disqus comments (and in real life for all 0 people who listen to me) that I want motorcycle armor (i.e. a suit of armor that is also a motorcycle) however... I now want a suit or armor made of living breathing humans.

  • Jason Christopher

    I know they're "just ants", but I kinda feel sorry for them.

  • Syd

    Anyone who would wear ants around in this tiny little watch is kind of a tiny little dick.

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