Service To Send Boxes Of Animal S#iT To Your Enemies

November 6, 2014

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ShitExpress is a service that allows you to anonymously send a box of horse shit anywhere in the world where mailmen travel. For just $17 (or €13 or 0.05 Bitcoins) you can have a cheap plastic container full of horse nuggets delivered to the hands of a mortal enemy. Or friend. Granted other services like this have existed in the past (previously: PoopSenders), but this is the first to offer anonymity via Bitcoin payments. Plus they're allegedly going to expand their product line to include different animal shits. Each box comes with the option for a personalized message (literally handwritten on a scrap of paper) and comes with the following standard message that reads:

I RECEIVED A HORSE SHIT.

WHAT NOW?

AT FIRST, THINK ABOUT YOURSELF.
SOMEONE SENT IT TO YOU PROBABLY BECAUSE YOU HURT OR INSULTED A PERSON CONSCIOUSLY OR UNCONSCIOUSLY.

TAKE A DEEP BREATH.
NOTHING BAD HAPPENED.
YOU SHOULD JUST TRY TO BE
A BETTER PERSON.

Obviously, I just send some to my least favorite people. "Did I make the cut?!" Maybe so! You'll just have to wait two weeks to find out. Unfortunately, I forgot to cover my tracks by paying anonymously. Thankfully, I did cover my tracks by hacking and paying with your Paypal account.

Thanks to LL, who tried to send some shit along with the tip but it didn't work because you can't send physical turds through email.

  • MustacheHam

    Oddly enough as this sounds, this doesn't seem like a shitty idea.

  • Jenness

    Doesn't sending excrement to someone with a card telling THEM to be a better person seem rather hypocritical?

  • choo choo goes the train

    not in america

  • Jenness

    *coughs 'not to liberal americans' coughs*

  • shashi

    HYPOCRISY? i would never lower myself to that level

  • Gene Kaufman
  • shashi
  • asdfasdf

    bear shit or its not worth my nemesis's time

  • asdfasdf

    call me when they expand into packets of sterilized male pubic lice(limiting it to "prank" status without future generations) to sprinkle my foes with

  • Daniel Anderson

    Is it considered a compliment if someone comments regarding their shitty service...I'll see myself out...

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