Solid Title: Teen Arrested In Rubber Penis Waving Incident

August 28, 2014


18-year old Skyler Connor has been charged with disorderly conduct after waving a rubber dildo out the window of a friend's car while traveling on Route 30 near Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania (today must be your lucky day, Florida). For reference, you should never wave a rubber dildo at other motorists. It's dangerous. It's right up there with texting. Also, you should never agree to drive a friend who you're aware is in possession of a rubber penis. But if you decide to throw caution into the wind and take them to the mall anyways, the moment that rubber dildo comes out of their bookbag it is your civic duty PULL OVER AND KICK THEM OUT OF THE VEHICLE. You don't even really need to stop, anything below 15MPH is fine. You wanna have fun with a dildo on the road? Try using it to thumb a ride.

Thanks to Brandon, who agrees if you have to wave a sex toy around on the road, at least use something a little less recognizable, like anal beads. What is that kid waving, a toy necklace?

  • Lisa J. Ariffin

    This guy is my hero.

  • zin

    Wasn't there some international sex toy/masturbation day or something? There should be. Cars covered in dildos. Custom fleshlite mufflers queefing down the roads.

  • Jason Christopher

    How exactly is this a crime? I know it says "disorderly conduct", but I'm going to need to hear a solid reason why this qualifies.

  • o0THX11380o

    Remember, we live in a post 9/11 world now.

  • disqus_k2QxOV9H7Z

    Since there is a guy who always says "of course it had to be japan" every time some news involving someone who looks like an asian I thin it is appropriate to say "of course it had to be America" or something like this.

  • Kaizer Chief

    You should probably sit down and rethink your position. Do you really believe that this dildo-waving incident is on the same level as this:

  • disqus_k2QxOV9H7Z

    Bagel head is a type of body modification pioneered in Canada. In 2012, after appearing on a National Geographic TV special, this practice became the subject of sensationalism as news outlets worldwide misleadingly declared it a "Japan trend".

    Of course it had to be Canada!

  • Kaizer Chief

    Fair enough, but just because it originated in Canada doesn't mean it actually caught on there—or anywhere else besides Japan. Hence it was a "weird Japanese trend".

  • disqus_k2QxOV9H7Z

    It didn't catch in Japan either. Most Japanese people have never even heard about that when the National Geographic program aired and were as shocked as anyone else. It is a thing from body modification performance art that is made in Canada, United States, Japan... not something people do normally.

    If you have ever been in Japan people with things that are common in west like piercings and tattoos are very rare.

  • Kaizer Chief

    Fine, fine... What about those vending machines that dispense schoolgirl panties? I know those are real.

  • disqus_k2QxOV9H7Z

    "the vast majority of Japanese people have no clue about them because the vast majority of people have never seen one"

    You can find weird stuff in Japan if you go to weird places, most of the country is pretty normal, like Germany.

  • DeathBotGamma

    Seems fair.

  • Tyguy

    I'm on board with it

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