In what is arguably the best invention since sliced bread, the Butterup Knife (links to Kickstarter where you can order one for around $11) was designed to easily spread cold butter without tearing your bread to shit. It works by grating a stick of butter into smaller, more easily spreadable ribbons. Alternatively, just jam a stick of butter into a Play-Doh Fun Factory and you can extrude any shape butter you want. Speaking of -- when I was a kid I used to sneak leftovers from the dinner table up to my room to run them through my Play-Doh Fun Factory. Mashed potatoes, steamed vegetables, lasagna, hot dogs -- you name it. Fun fact: all food tastes better if it's shaped like a star. I did the experiments to prove it. The least tasty shape? Turds.
Keep going for the Kickstarter video.
Thanks to Benjammin, who, at least in my mind, is wearing a rastacap and banging out a rhythm on a drum on a tropical beach somewhere. That's just what I see.