New Butter Knife Spreads Cold Butter With Ease

August 27, 2014


In what is arguably the best invention since sliced bread, the Butterup Knife (links to Kickstarter where you can order one for around $11) was designed to easily spread cold butter without tearing your bread to shit. It works by grating a stick of butter into smaller, more easily spreadable ribbons. Alternatively, just jam a stick of butter into a Play-Doh Fun Factory and you can extrude any shape butter you want. Speaking of -- when I was a kid I used to sneak leftovers from the dinner table up to my room to run them through my Play-Doh Fun Factory. Mashed potatoes, steamed vegetables, lasagna, hot dogs -- you name it. Fun fact: all food tastes better if it's shaped like a star. I did the experiments to prove it. The least tasty shape? Turds.

Keep going for the Kickstarter video.

Thanks to Benjammin, who, at least in my mind, is wearing a rastacap and banging out a rhythm on a drum on a tropical beach somewhere. That's just what I see.

  • Maria Elisabeth Mussenden

    This is so clever! So simple, how could it be possible that something so simple wasn't invented before? I love it!

  • I_Hate_Usernames

    cngfxdh fxdhb

  • MustacheHam can also be used for cheese. :D

  • BeastmanAIDS

    holy crap they've made a quarter of a million dollars over their goal... they've definitely addressed a dire first world issue!

  • disqus_k2QxOV9H7Z

    Reminded me of this

  • MustacheHam

    haha! I was thinking that too... 8D

  • Ollie Williams

    Since GW didn't bother to link the damn Kickstarter campaign, here it is:



  • Ollie Williams

    I'm sorry, are.. are you the GW?


    yes i keep forgetting the passwords to all my other discus accounts. i just make a new one every time usually. *holding sealed envelope to head* the next article is gonna be the harp twins!

  • Ollie Williams

    I honestly had no idea you even browsed the comments section. As a successful Internet blogger fancy-pants, I certainly didn't expect you would associate with the filthy degenerates in the comments section, myself included. I naturally assumed all the comments that had "GW" or other such monikers were some asshat pretending to be you.

  • zin

    Silly Ollie, we are all GW.

  • Ollie Williams

    That's deep, man.

  • ODwanKenObi

    Don't you feel silly now.

  • Ollie Williams

    I'm just happy to know the GW reads the comments, quite frankly. I've been on this website for about 7-8 years and I never knew that. I always assumed he writes a post, hits submit, jerks off to some dinosaur photos from a 1992 version of Encyclopedia Britannica, then takes a nap. Rinse and repeat until the weekend, where he likely schedules automatic post updates so he can go out and get hammered. That's what I'd do, anyway.


    you aren't far off

  • Sean Lally

    Why is cold butter even an thing? Just leave the butter out on the counter...

  • zin

    It's a thing for real butter that isn't permanently solidified by additives.

  • Sean Lally

    I leave farm butter out all the time. Of course the house doesn't get hotter than 76F.

  • zin

    Touché. Mine rarely gets down to 20C.

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