Geekologie I Watch Stuff The Superficial Hedonistica

Home Run To Happiness: The Kickball Ice Cream Maker

kickball-ice-cream-maker.jpg

This is the Kickball Ice Cream Maker available from Hammacher Schlemmer ($35). It's like the spherical plastic ice cream makers that have existed forever, except softer and kickable. Just like the head of an enemy. I'm going to kick it so f***Ing hard the ice cream compartment opens up and we wind up making dirt cream.

Simply place cream, sugar, vanilla or other flavoring into the ball's food-safe sealed compartment and ice and rock salt into a second compartment and start toe-flicking, back-heel kicking, or spinning the ball. It makes up to one pint of ice cream after only 20 minutes of play. The ice cream maker's soft rubber exterior withstands repeated kicks and rolls, and the ingredient compartment's 4" diameter opening makes it easy to scoop out churned ice cream. Weighing less than 4 lbs. and about the size of a volley ball, the unit is easy to pack and carry to vacation homes or cottages.

Did you read that? It said it's easy to pack and carry to vacation homes or cottages. That's a relief, because I was genuinely concerned it might not be easy for me to pack and carry to my cottage. You know, the one in the woods. I'm kidding, the only cottage I own is cheese, and that shit's already a week and a half past its expiration date. For the record, I will still be eating it.

Thanks to lilco, who agrees the best ice cream is kissed from the lips of a lover. Amen to that! AhOOOOga, HUBBA HUBBA!


There are Comments.
  • GeekVariety... Yet again douching up another post.

  • RY33

    Or you could play kick ball and go to Dairy Queen. Just saying...

  • zin

    Waiting for this to become commonplace enough to be featured in anime. Someone kicks it too hard, it lands on schoolgirls & pops open, VANILLA ICECREAM BUKAKKE! kya~n! nani kore~! nuru nuru shite kimochi waru~i!
    *double-nosebleeds*

  • Just.....just NO!

    The fact that something like this exist means humans should not!

    Someone spent time, money and effort on this and then actually made it a reality!
    THIS SHIT HAS GOT TO FUCKING STOP!

    The human race is too fucking stupid to survive, I honestly hope an asteroid hits the planet and kills us all so that we cant infect the rest of the galaxy with our pointless fucking shit like this....

  • Ed

    It totally makes a useful contribution; it's perfect for getting fat kids to exercise.

  • zin

    Only to be followed by gorging themselves on the fruits of their labors, then exercise, then eat then exercise then... It's a vicious cycle of obesity, diabetes & heart-attacks.

  • disqus_k2QxOV9H7Z

    Better than simply gorge themselves on ice cream over and over without exercises. Kids can eat ice cream and not be fat if they moved their asses and exercised!

  • zin

    Not at that rate. 20min of kickball followed by 2 min of gorging. Just not balanced, & diet plays a major role as well.

  • disqus_k2QxOV9H7Z

    Would the 8 hours of gorging and TV as now work better? Muscles burn calories even when not in use so gaining muscles is a good thing.

  • Bling Nye

    ...says the guy/girl with a custom action figure store.

    LOL

  • That's fine, comparing art to, a fucking soccer ball with ice cream inside of it.

    You're argument is not without merit if we consider the fact that everything is pointless and will fade into meaningless sand dunes and snowdrifts, then sure you are justified in calling out my hypocrisy on the matter.

    But what I do, what I create is art, sculpture, charity. As you are correct in pointing out that my efforts are no less meaningless in the cosmic scale of things, I would place more meaning and value in what I do than the equivalent Chindogu.

    Nothing matters aside from the immediate value of the item in the moment and what I do while meaningless in the long run but feels more valuable than a ice cream soccer ball.\

    But who am I to say, I am obviously biased.

  • Hayley Prychun Rodgers

    I don't enjoy what you make, so do I get to claim the human race should die because you make it? Quit being a self centered asshole who thinks things only have value if you like them. My KIDS would love this, most would. Get over yourself.

  • edited for sobriety sake.

  • How bout this, I'll get over myself and stop being a self centered asshole once you learn to read a bit and understand my overall point, instead of being a reactionary knee jerk JERK like you have been to this point.

    Chindōgu (珍道具?) is the Japanese art of inventing ingenious everyday gadgets that, on the face of it, seem like an ideal solution to a particular problem. However, chindōgu has a distinctive feature: anyone actually attempting to use one of these inventions would find that it causes so many new problems, or such significant social embarrassment, that effectively it has no utility whatsoever.

    So should I stop making custom action figures for kids with lukemia? BECAUSE YOU KNOW, I'm a self centered asshole? SHOULD I?!

    You can look it up actually, ON THIS WEBSITE BECAUSE THEY DID A WRITE UP ABOUT MY CHARITY WORK! ITS CALLED THE HEALING HEROES PROJECT WHERE I MAKE TOYS FOR SICK CHILDREN BECAUSE IM SO FUCKING UP MY OWN ASS AND SELF CENTERED AND ALL THAT!

    heres the link if you cant get off your fat ass to be bothered to look it up http://geekologie.com/2011/03/...

  • Healing Heroes Network: Women are cunts because ice cream balls exist.

  • Nah, women are cunts because I was insanely drunk and lashing out after having been verbally attacked by someone who didn't take the time or effort to understand my overall point. My decency filter had to be removed for the sake of getting the beer bottle in my mouth, but its back on now and I won't be throwing around random insults anymore.

    I retracted the cunts part, but I stand by the rest.

  • zin

    I haven't read all of this but my instinct is telling me to give you a fist-bump. Hope you're feeling less down after your hangover fades.

  • No hangover here, but thank you. And actually yes I am feeling less down, but that too will soon fade, but it was nice while it lasted.

  • Shaun9lives

    I,...I kind of want one.

  • Ed

    I do now too.

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