This is an imaginary cover of Cosmospolitan featuring Neil DeGrasse Tyson that was Photoshopped together by Redditor CapnFancyPants. My pants? My pants are NOT fancy. "Those are stained boxers." Exactly. I don't even feel comfortable answering the door in them and this is MY HOUSE. Remember when your girlfriend used to make you take all the relationship quizzes in Cosmo? According to those things I am like, the worst boyfriend ever. "That's because you are." My ex-girlfriend, ladies and gentlemen! Please give me back my comic book collection.
Thanks to lilco, who's convinced the sex advice column always reads like it was written by the person with the least amount of sexual experience possible.