This Spider Is Actually A Bodypainted Contortionist
I knew instantly it wasn't a spider though because spiders have twelve legs and this one only has four. "GW? Spiders only have eight legs." Then what the f*** did I just smash with a rolled up newspaper?! I'd look at the carcass in the trash but REAL TALK: I ordered Chinese take-out last weekend and the leftovers have been marinating in the trashcan ever since. You can smell it from the ELEVATOR of my apartment building, I don't think it's a good idea to spend any amount of time hovering directly over the trash trying to identify a dead bug. Besides, you SURE spiders don't have twelve legs? "Just how many do you think twelve is?" *holding up fingers* "That's six." It did kind of look like an ant now that I think about it.
Keep going for a video with a BONUS contortionist as a seahorse.
Thanks to Laura, who agrees getting bodypainted and contorting yourself like a spider is a great way for a giant to mistake you for one and get stepped on.