This is a 19th century lyre made out of a human skull, antelope horns, skin, gut and hair. I can't even imagine all the black magic rituals it was probably played at. The things it's seen! Hmm....if only it could talk. "YOU SUMMONED ME, MORTAL?" Holy shit it can! Do you also grant wishes?! "PLUCK MY STRINGS." Okay, I'm plucking. "MMMM, DON'T STOP, THAT FEELS SOOOOO GOOD." Wait, are these like your penises?! "PLEASE -- JUST A COUPLE MORE CHORDS." Fine, but I'm using a pick.
Thanks to lilco, who agrees we're just one guitar made from a spinal cord away from the metal-est band of all time.