This is a video from the 2013 Texas Heat Wave custom car show of two lowriders doing battle. They're not REAL cars though -- they're just shells of cars that have had their engines and other heavy parts removed so they can achieve MAXIMUM BOUNCE. Just check out the red, white and blue car at 0:56. Eventually, the two cars dry-hump each other to pieces, leaving a trail of broken parts and hydraulic fluid to tell the tale of the battle. Who won? I'm not sure. I think it was us though.
Keep going for the whole video but feel free to skip around because watching all six minutes will make you rush out to get hydraulics installed on your car this weekend.
Thanks to Chez, whose car doesn't have hydraulics but does have a 'IF YOU CAN READ THIS, STOP TAILGATING' bumper sticker.