My God that looks delicious.
This is a video of CrazyRussianHacker (of how to open a tuna can with no can opener fame) boiling a bottle of Coke to see what happens. SPOILER: You're left with a sludge of black, burnt sugar. And you know what burnt sugar reminds me of? S'mores. Love those things. I used to make them in the microwave every day as an after-school snack when I was in high school. "It shows." What do you mean? "Your belly." Oh what, are we gut-shaming now? You should really take a good hard look at yourself in the mirror. "What for?" Self reflection. "Seriously?" Yes, plus there's a monster booger on your cheek.
Keep going for the video.
Thanks to HawaiianShirt and Tim H, who agree the best sugary sludge is left over from boiling red cream soda. Heck yeah it is! Now let's run around the block until our hearts pop.