Ancient Neanderthal Turd Reveals Early Human Diet

June 27, 2014


Hey kid, great job with the wood but I'm trying to drop a deuce over here.

An ancient Neanderthal turd found in Spain has revealed that our ancestors ate not only meat like some scientists previously thought, but a mix of fruits, berries, nuts and tubers. Basically anything they could get their hands on. Hell, one time I got lost in the woods for an hour and was already eating tree bark and trying to flavor my urine.

By analyzing samples of the fecal matter, the researchers found "animal-derived cholesterol" but also phytosterol, a compound from plants. This, they say is the "first direct evidence that Neanderthals may have enjoyed an omnivorous diet."

A chemical analysis indicated a "significant plant intake," researchers said.

"In the end it would not be surprising to find that Neanderthals show little difference from sapiens in their diet composition," he said in the statement.

Yeah, so the next time one of your rabid carnivorous friends suggests an all-meat diet is appropriate because it's what early humans did, you can just point them to this article. Or remind them that early humans are all f***ing dead. Or just say screw it and both go out for a steak dinner. "Okay, the porterhouse medium rare -- and what side would you like with that?" A ribeye.

Thanks to Jonesy, who wishes he could have seen the look on the scientist's face when he discovered the turd and knew he was holding on to something special.

  • Great read, very informative.. Thanks for sharing. Anyway, just wanna share, research shows that a professional healthy weight loss exercise for your body type burns 3x more fat and is twice as enjoyable. It also patronizes eating the proper food to have good metabolism for faster fat loss which shows best result.

  • Guest

    forget the poo check out the prehistoric milf. dat rack. dead sexy.

  • Guest know. because they're extinct

  • neandertal diet a real thing

  • Broseph

    i thought it was meat as staple not meat only anyway...

  • Kaizer Chief

    The actual study says that the findings indicate that Neanderthals "predominantly ate meat". Not sure how that shows a diet composition with "little difference" from that of Sapiens (other than myself...).

  • SillyFatBastard

    Pictured L. to R.: Adam, Eve, Cain, Abel.

  • Mono Chireno

    Thing is Neanderthals are not really "our" ancestors.

  • GreyMatter

    I love GW's synopses!

  • disqus_k2QxOV9H7Z

    Huh, the article says that the findings are evidences that neanderthals ate vegetables too, where the "ate only meat as previewsly thought" came from?

  • DrZanz

    I know right, apparently our molars didn't sprout until the week after someone tried celery .

  • disqus_k2QxOV9H7Z

    Well. Carnivores have molars too. It is just that just because we had no proof of A doesn't means that everybody thought it was B. Maybe we had the suspicious of A but didn't have any evidence available, what It seems to be in the original article.

  • iamn0one

    your nips look amazing in that pic, G-dub

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