Man Takes Girlfriend On Roadtrip, She Dies On The Way, Man Continues Roadtrip With Corpse

June 10, 2014


In news that really shouldn't even surprise me, 62-year old Ray Tomlinson was on a roadtrip with his 93-year old mom and 31-year old girlfriend when his mother realized his girlfriend, who they thought was just sleeping, had actually died. So what did he and his mother do? What any pair of lunatics who don't mind a dead body in their car would -- KEPT DRIVING. Fingers crossed they propped her up in the front seat so they could take advantage of HOV lanes while his mother slept in the back.

After making the discovery, Tomlinson and his 93-year-old mother decided to push on through and get the body to a Michigan morgue.

"He then does an Internet search via his phone," Warren Police Detective Sgt. Stephen Mills said. "He says he finds on the Internet that he has 48 hours to take her to a medical examiner or to a morgue."

Foul play is not suspected, but the cause of death has not been determined yet

Tomlinson said he took the body back to Michigan because he didn't want to leave her in a random hospital. "I cared too much for her," he told the Detroit Free Press in an interview. "I loved her very much."

Anybody else find it weird that the girlfriend was 31, Ray is 62, and his mother is 93? You see the math there? I suspect a Da Vinci code style mystery just waiting to be unraveled. *calling Ray* Hello, Ray? I'd like to ask you a few questions. "Who is this?" Let's just say I'm a servant of God. "A Jehovah's Witness?" No no no -- even deeper than that. You ever seen The Da Vinci Code before? You know that albino guy who's always tightening the spiked belt around his leg? "It's called a cilice." A-ha! So you ARE familiar with them. Listen -- make sure you're not being followed and meet me at the Library of Congress in the kid's section. "It's the Library of Congress, there is no kid's section." *putting on President Lincoln's stovepipe hat* That's what you think.

Thanks to noname, who agrees they should have at least put her in the trunk.

  • Captain Matticus, LP Inc.

    Being the nerd that I am, the first thing I noticed was the arithmetic progression.

  • A 31 year old, a 62 year old and a 93 year old take a road trip... and the fucking 31 year old dies in her sleep? Not what I saw coming.

  • MustacheHam

    Road trips are dull...and very long. It would make sense that one would die of boredom during the trip. :B

  • "A Jehovah's Witness?" No no no -- even deeper than that.
    haha. A Deep-hovah's witness.

    Also, I thought it said 'Man takes Griffin on Roadtrip' when I first read.....

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