PUSH THE BUTTON ALREADY: Firing Missiles At Mars Could Reveal Life (Or Destroy It!)

May 14, 2014


A group of scientists are convinced that if we can dig deep enough into Mars, we'll locate signs of ancient life. And just how do we dig deep enough? By firing missiles! God, please -- PLEASE let me ride one. I want to wear a cowboy hat and be swinging a lasso.

In 1976, the Viking spacecraft found tentative suggestions of life on the Red Planet, but that research was later dismissed when scientists decided the spacecraft's instruments weren't sensitive enough to detect that sort of thing. However, Gil Levin, who led that mission, is now part of a team that hopes to prove Viking's possible findings about life correct with a project called Exolance. The team wants to fire a series of probes (missiles, really) at Mars that will embed themselves deep within the planet's surface and, hopefully, finally find real signs of life there in the form of ancient preserved microbes.

Heck yeah! And while we're at it we should probably just nuke Pluto too and put that poor f***er out of its misery. 'If I can't be a planet, I don't want to go on' -- I'm serious, it told me that.

Thanks to blue16, who agrees we should probably blow up the moon first. You know, just get it out of the way.

  • zin

    If the instruments weren't sensitive enough but detected signs of life, doesn't that just mean that the signs are so obvious that even the dull can see it?

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  • Stacy E. McKay

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  • Guest

    you shouldn't be doing porn with 2 kids in the house lady.

  • Frédéric Purenne

    "WE FOUND IT... we friggin' found it! LOOK, signs of life on mars that was... that was... alive moment's prior... aw shit." -Gil Levin's future quote

  • taran420

    This can't end well.

  • DEṂ

    Sure, just blast another planet. But don't come home crying after you've awakened the beasts that are going to attack back...just sayin...

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