Ultra Questionable: The Perfect Male And Female Bodies, According To Males Versus Females

April 14, 2014


Allegedly these are the perfect male and female bodies, according to polled British men and women. The "study" (if you can even call it that because there is no way in hell it was conducted with even the least bit of scientificness) was performed by London lingerie manufacturer Blue Bella (not to be confused with Blue Bell, who makes badass ice cream). I don't even know who half these people are. I really just want to hear about how the survey was conducted and what the sample size was. Because my guess is "very haphazardly" and "a dozen people tops, pretending to be both male and female". Also, why is there no choice for ideal penis? I have opinions about these things. Plus I want to know what the total percentage women polled actually said they think Gweneth Paltrow has the ideal stomach (for example). Because I bet the answers were so varied it's under 10%. Unless the poll was multiple choice, in which case it was designed even shittier than I imagined. I mostly just posted this to remind you all that you don't need to subscribe to society's perception of beauty. You only need to subscribe to mine, and I think you're perfect in your own way. Geekologie: a blog that cares. No -- Geekologie: the ONLY blog that cares. Every other blog will call you fat behind your back, and that's a fact.

Thanks to TBTMH, who agrees the perfect body is the one you have, because it's the only one you get.

  • Looks like a "Dave"

    Two high school buddies had the idea that we join a new gym in town and work out to achieve what women considered the ideal male physique. We thought it meant a lean 'buff' body with six-pack-abs, and some non-specified muscle development. After a few months they both got bored with working out and quit, while I basically became addicted to it. Actually it triggered a rare genetic disorder that requires I keep working out regularly to stimulate my endocrine system or I experience seizures. Medication doesn't work. Over the years I've built up a physique that rivals professional body builders. They assume I'm one of them. For a while, a girlfriend(now ex) insisted I look the part by shaving my body hair.
    I know most women don't want a guy who is overly muscular, especially one so 'pumped up' as to need help getting dressed and undressed, but I can't help it. I guess like with overweight guys, or short guys, I'll have to wait/hope for a woman who will accept me as I am. It seems like women only go on a date with me for the novelty of it. Having sex with me is awkward, they complain I'm too "big, heavy, bumpy, and hard (in the wrong places)", and then I get a complaint comment that even my 'unit' is big. Hey, I'm Italian! My buddies, who didn't even acquire "buff" bodies, got married and have kids.

  • Shane Smith

    So without a doubt my misses

  • Shane Smith

    The perfect body whether it be male or female is the one that you fall asleep next to & wake up to,the same bodies that ravish each other to an explosive & satisfying crescendo whether off tap or not or is it just my partner & I that have the perfect bodies
    ( neither of us fit into your summarisation) so u tell me where the perfect bodies lay here
    Or in the middle of your mag

  • Dean Fang

    I agree. The girl on the right is more attractive to me. Both are wonderful. But there is something instinctual that comes out of me when I see the woman on the right!

  • Mystuff

    This is fucking BULLSHIT, most women don't look like that and men deal in reality. NO WAY this is real

  • Hayley Prychun Rodgers

    Nope, on either of them. Ivy Doomkitty is the perfect female for me, and men, it varies.

  • frylock243

    So all I really learned here is that apparently I think more like a British guy than an American woman which must mean I like both my men and my women with a little more meat on their bones whether we're talking fat or muscle, although I prefer muscle?
    The one exception is in the boob dept. I do like the smaller boob.

  • Doughnut

    thanks for advertising a shady survey result on a blog that cares. why is this information here?

  • anon999

    Men want bigger and woman want smaller

  • Matty Spinny

    so who decided the perfect girl body? a priest that confessed to raping little boys?

  • PopTheLid

    Why didn't you just say homosexual?

  • Matty Spinny

    because homosexuals dont even want that.

  • Vini90

    So I think as a female when it comes to perfect women budy.

  • Rick Thomas

    The only difference I see with the guy is the hair.

  • John_Drake

    Wow, people sure do love Caucasian body parts. You'd think a minority feature would enter into the equation somewhere, but nope.

  • Guest

    meh, black women look like trannies half the time and asians have those creepy eyes...mexicans just look shapeless and lumpy half the time, out of curiosity which minority parts would you stitch together like dr frankenstein?

  • Rohan Kirkpatrick

    Mostof the woman's body parts aren't caucasian they're plastic. Fucking boohoo people failed to live up to your expectations again, go cry into a fucking soy latte.

  • adsfasdfasdf

    eww, the men's woman has this weird lumpy thing going on just under the tits

  • disqus_k2QxOV9H7Z

    They should use the character creation from that korean game for these kinds of pools.

  • ProphetFlume

    Thanks, Geekologie. The Superficial is always calling me ugly.

blog comments powered by Disqus
Previous Post
Next Post