Scrub Between Those Hairy Toes: Bilbo's Bath & Shire Gel
This is Bilbo's Bath and Shire Gel. Shire, get it? If you don't you might be having a stroke. The ironic thing about this is that Hobbits rarely bathe. They all smell like a shit in the sun on the hottest day of summer. Fact: Gandalf actually faked his death with the Balrog because he couldn't stand the smell of those disgusting little f***ers any longer. And I don't blame him. One time I was watching a horror movie and had to put my popcorn and soda down and leave the theater because the person sitting next to me stunk so bad. "Was it..." My date? Yes. I think she shit her pants.
Thanks to PYY, who agrees the best smelling shower gel is the stuff I use but I'm not going to tell you what that is because I don't want any other dudes out there smelling like me. Hint: it's a lady's product.