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Oscar Mayer To Release Bacon-Smelling Alarm Clock Dongle For Smartphones

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What percentage of Americans do you think know what a dongle is? Because my guess is 85% think it's what boy kindergartners call their pee-pee. This is the soon to be released Wake Up And Smell The Bacon smartphone dongle from Oscar Mayer. It plugs into a phone and syncs with an alarm clock app to wake you up with the tantalizing scent of sizzling pork fat. Unfortunately, there's no real bacon at the end of the tunnel, making it far less likely to get me out of bed than the two bacon alarm clocks I've posted in the past that actually cook bacon. Way to drop the ball, Oscar Mayer. And to think you used to be my favorite hot dog! Jk jk, nobody has ever said that.

Keep going for a brief commercial.

Thanks again to Thaylor H, who is quickly climbing the ladder of my favorite tipsters. And you? You are at the bottom holding the ladder, and not even doing a good job at that.

There are Comments.
  • Jessica Abramson

    This was totally Michael Scott's idea

  • I really dislike the term 'dongle'.
    Which ever idiots came up with that should be soundly slapped for not coming up with something less ridiculous sounding.

  • I got your bacon-flavored dongle right here.

  • Give that kindergartener his pee-pee back!

  • Andrew Newton

    Good morning you lazy shit. Smell the food you will not be eating because you press the snooze until you have to leave.

  • catallergy

    The sound of your smoke alarm going off is actually what will wake you up.

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