Him? Own a Master Sword replica? I don't believe it.
So you might have noticed I didn't write yesterday because I am deathly ill but I am trying to write today but my brain feels like the Jello that somebody's already squished between the gaps in their teeth a couple times, so bear with me. Or bare with me and we can start our own nudist thing. A man stabbed his girlfriend's ex-husband with a replica of the Master Sword from The Legend of Zelda after she called him to come over following an argument between the new lovers. And that's why you should never date a woman who can still remember her ex-husband's number.
Thompson's girlfriend let the man inside. Thompson said he ran to the back bedroom and told the man to leave the house, but he refused and started charging at him.
"I heard him heading to the bedroom where I was, so I jumped in the closet and I grabbed one of my replica swords, and I pulled it out and stood at the doorway, and he was coming down the hallway at me while I was yelling, 'Go away, you don't live here' and he just walked right into the point of the sword, I don't know if he thought it was a toy," said Thompson.
Thompson told Local 2 he managed to get the man out of the house and locked the door. But he said the man wouldn't give up and broke through the front door and ran back into the house.
Deputies said the two men fought over the sword and in the scuffle, the estranged husband was stabbed -- once in the chest and once in the leg. Thompson said the man grabbed a flower pot from outside and smashed it over his head.
"It dinged me on the head and all of a sudden I had blood pouring down my face," said Thompson.
Ahahahhahahhaha, "So I jumped in the closet and I grabbed one of my replica swords." What other swords do you have in there? Maybe a Buster Sword? A couple lightsabers? I'm not making fun, I'm more jealous than anything. But not about your relationship, because it sounds like you've got a couple weeks of living in your car while looking for a new place ahead of you. Let me know if you need somebody to keep an eye on your sword collection in the meantime.
Keep going for the local news report.
Thanks to Philrules, who keeps a replica of Frodo's Sting under his bed in case anybody comes looking for the One Ring.