In news that shouldn't surprise anyone, 13-year old Girl Scout Danielle Lei and her mother sold a ton of Girl Scout cookies after setting up shop outside a San Francisco cannabis clinic. No word how many of those boxers were bought by her mother after taking a quick trip inside. Now you stay put, mommy will be right back.
In two hours on President's Day, Danielle sold 117 boxes outside the clinic -- people gobbled up all her Dulce de Leches and blazed through the Tagalongs. According to her mother, Carol, that's 37 more boxes than what she sold during the same two-hour period outside a small Safeway the next day.
The Green Cross was on board as soon as Carol called to ask for permission to sell cookies outside, and employees at the clinic bought plenty of cookies themselves, too.
I don't understand how parents with Girl Scout daughters don't just buy all the cookies themselves. Because that's what I would do. As many boxes as they'll send you, I want them all. Oh -- but none of those shitty sugar-free ones. "Those were discontinued, dad." YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT THEY WERE.
Thanks to neolardo, who plans on holding a Girl Scout Cookie eating contest this year, which is convenient because I've been training for this moment for 16 years.