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Sponge Filled Dildo Seals Gunshot Wounds In 15-Seconds

gunshot-wound-healing-syringe.jpg

Gunshot wound sealer, or ULTRA-EXTREME HEAVY DAY tampon?

This is the XStat, a syringe filled with rapidly expanding sponges that, when injected into an open gunshot wound, can prevent bleeding and seal the wound in as little as 15-seconds. Personally, if I get shot I'm hoping the hole is way smaller than would accommodate such a massive dildo. I'm thinking like, bb-sized. The kind of wound you'd need to inject with a coffee stirrer.

And those pesky little sponges won't get lodged and lost in your body forever. They're marked with something called a "radiopaque marker," which means they'll show up on an x-ray when the victim reaches the hospital.


Currently, military medics and civilian first responders typically use gauze to heal gunshot wounds--a process that's apparently painful as hell, and not particularly efficient. "A medic must pack gauze directly into the wound cavity, sometimes as deep as 5 inches into the body, to stop bleeding from an artery," Popular Science explains. "It's an agonizing process that doesn't always work--if bleeding hasn't stopped after three minutes of applying direct pressure, the medic must pull out all the gauze and start over again."

Hey, whatever helps save lives, I'm behind. Although truthfully, I'm behind in just about everything. Especially rent and bills. Plus now I'm all out of prepaid phone minutes because the creditors wasted them all trying to crawl up my ass and collect money I don't have. I blame the state government. Mainly for selling lotto scratchers.

Thanks to Thaylor H, who agrees if a friend gets shot you should not, I repeat, SHOULD NOT try to see how many marshmallows you can fit inside the hole.

There are Comments.
  • fdfdafdsa

    multipurpose is a good thing to pack. especially with them letting women into the front lines.

  • ChoJinn

    That seems a bit...big? Bullet hole entry wounds are not going to be >1" in diameter, and while a slightly larger syringe diameter may be necessary to get enough sponge into the wound cavity, I can't see how shoving this into your body will not enlarge the wound. Then again, perhaps enlarging the wound doesn't matter because the sponge injection would take its place? Methinks smaller sponge particles with a narrower syringe would work better. To the USPTO!

  • Van Hellshit

    am i the omly one who red >>CUMSHOT wound because of seeing the picture

  • Fez
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