Meet Erik Ortiz. Like 200% of the population, Erik is afraid of spiders. So what did he do -- just live with it like everybody else? NOPE, he got this giant-ass black widow tattooed on his face to help overcome his fear. I dunno, I maybe would have started with one of those cheap plastic spider rings they hand out for Halloween.
"Everybody fears spiders," Ortiz said. "That's why I got it. Just to, like, make me know, that that's what I fear, but not to fear it. You know what I'm saying?"...
"Everybody looks at it like, "Damn spider" 'cause if you're going around your house, you know what I'm saying, you see those spiders, you're going to jump, you're going to jump, so putting one on my face, I say you know what, I'm going to see what people think."
His girlfriend wasn't too happy, though.
"She was mad at me," he said.
Well of course your girlfriend was mad at you. You can't go to a tattoo parlor promising to get her name done and come back with a spider tattoo on your face. And don't even act like that's not what happened, because I have BEEN THERE before. I told my girlfriend I was going to get her initials in a heart above my pecker and came back with a full chest skull and crossbones and 'A PIRATE'S LIFE FOR ME' underneath it. We're not together anymore, which is okay because long term relationships aren't very piratey anyways. I LIVE BY A CODE.
Thanks to Kenbo and A, who agree the best facial tattoos are permanent makeup ones.