Real Products: Darth Vader Lightsaber Barbeque Tongs
There will come a day where every single item will be available with a Star Wars theme. That day was yesterday. This is the £19 (~$34) Star Wars Lightsaber BBQ Tong from The Fowndry. They're barbeque tongs that look like Darth Vader's laser sword. No matter what your partner might tell you, they are not for ass-play.
Not as clumsy or random as a fork, these handy barbecue nippers are modelled on Darth Vader's lightsaber, circa Episode IV. Is there a culinary connection? We're not sure. But between despatching Jedi we reckon that iconic vwauu-wauuming light stick could make a nifty grilled cheese. Maybe one for Episode VII...
Where were we? Oh yes. With a handy pair of pincers at one end and the lightsaber's iconic hilt at the other, Star Wars BBQ tongs are the perfect bit of kit for any civilised chef. And yes, they even make the noise (so you don't have to). Let go your conscious self and act on instinct...
They even make the lightsaber noise! They will be the star of your next barbeque. Unless I'm there, in which case I will be the star (I like to get naked and jump over the grill). You ever accidentally cooked your penis medium-rare before? Because I have.
Keep going for a couple more shots.
Thanks to TC, who's holding out for a Jedi version to cook tauntaun gut sausages.