27-year old Robert McKevitt was recently fired from his job at a warehouse in Iowa for using a 4-ton forklift to shake and drop a vending machine after the Twix bar he paid for failed to drop. Me? I'm more of a running jumpkicker.
"That machine was trouble," Mr McKevitt told the Des Moines Register, saying he banged on it with his hands but to no avail.
"They fired me, and now I hear they have all new vending machines there."
The former Polaris Industries employee allegedly used the forklift to pick up the vending machine six times and drop it nearly 2ft (61cm) on to a concrete floor.
Three confectionary bars are said to have fallen out.
Mr McKevitt acknowledged using the forklift to move the machine, but said he did not lift or drop it.
No lie, last night my Sour Patch Watermelons got stuck in the vending machine at the laundromat. Then I started yelling and causing a scene until a guy told me the spiral made one more turn and they fell. I guess new machines have the technology to sense when candy doesn't drop now. In hindsight, I guess I do regret swearing to, "Burn this f***ing shithole to the ground" like the police report says.
Thanks to TeamCanada and jimmmy, who have both quit jobs because the candy selection in the break room vending machine sucked so hard.