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I Must Have It: Medieval Castle Murphy Bed Has Drawbridge That Lowers For Sleeping

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This is the $3,500 Medieval Castle Murphy bed made and sold by Etsy shop TinyTownStudios (who also make a bunch of cool pirate treehouses). The drawbridge lowers to reveal a bed. Unfortunately, it's only a single size bed, which is weird because you have a MEDIEVAL CASTLE IN YOUR BEDROOM, there's no way you're not bringing home fair maidens/handsome knights all the time. You're going to need room to get down to your royal business. I'm talking about continuing your lineage . "Huh?" Boning, I'm talking about boning. "I'm pretty sure the bed was made for kids." WHAT?! There is no way a child could appreciate a medieval castle bed more than me. Now come over for a sleepover and we'll all pretend the carpet is a moat.

Keep going for a bonus shot of the $2,250 western saloon loft bed they're also selling.

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Thanks to lilco, who agrees the best bed is a hammock by the beach where you can hear the waves crashing and maybe some calypso music in the distance.

There are Comments.
  • JMeyer47

    I think the irony for an adult man owning this expecting to actually have sex with a woman on this thing is that when the gate opens, her knees snap shut. Any "siege" upon her "gates" after that will likely earn you a trip to your local sheriff's dungeon.

  • JA

    You assume that all women have no sense of humor and are cold, soulless creatures who hate fun stuff.

  • JMeyer47

    Said the guy who built it.

  • Rick_McRockock

    No way this should be for kids... Just think of all the wasted sexual metaphors like "slay my dragon" or "now I'm going to storm YOUR castle m'lady..."

  • Guest

    that second one sounds like you're taking turns and bent over first.....

  • Rick_McRockock

    Wait... is that not how it's done?

  • Guest

    play come into my castle

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