Because kids get all the coolest stuff, this is the Super Mario Kart Ride On Vehicle availablefor $200 from Toys R Us (and probably other places). It's an electric powered Mario Kart for kids (up to 70-lbs, or one of my testicles) with a top speed of 2.5MPH that plays sound effects from the game. You know, I've realized there's a fundamental difference in people who grew up driving a little electric car, and those who didn't. Because the ones who did were SPOILED and grow up to be SHITBAGS. Sorry, I'm just projecting. But is that enough to stop me from red-shelling all the kids in the neighborhood who get one of these? Yes (absolutely not, you bring the banana peels).
Thanks to PYY, who agrees no neighborhood stunt spectacular is complete without a jet-powered Power Wheels jump through a burning hoop over a pool of sharks.