BroApp, An App For Automatically Texting Your Girlfriend

February 28, 2014


BroApp is a $2 Android app that automatically sends prewritten text messages to your girlfriend so she thinks you're an attentive boyfriend instead of the sad piece of shit you really are. Also -- darl? Who the hell calls their girlfriend, darl? I would break up with you for calling me that. Or asking, 'Hey babe, what's doing with you today?" WHAT'S DOING WITH ME TODAY? I'm breaking up with my f***ing idiot boyfriend, that's what.

BroApp allows users to 'outsource their relationships' and spend more time with 'the bros' by sending automated romantic texts to a girlfriend's phone

...boyfriends compose a number of texts, which can be timed to be sent automatically on a specific day, even if he is busy enjoying the company of his male friends. The makers claim that "BroApp leverages advanced algorithms to intelligently determine the best time to send a text message to your girlfriend".

Men are also asked to identify their girlfriend's WiFi network, so that his cover won't be blown by pre-written texts being sent to her while he is at her house.

If the user has recently texted or called his girlfriend "in real life", or she has recently contacted him, texts scheduled by the app are cancelled so as not to arouse suspicion that he is using an automated service.

First of all, if you're not attentive enough to occasionally write your girlfriend, maybe you shouldn't be in a relationship. Secondly, if you're actually using an app to text your girlfriend so you can "spend more time with the bros", you might be in love with men. Thirdly, what happens when she gets your, "Hey babe, how was your day?" text AND THEN ANSWERS? Why did you ask how my day was and then not say anything after I responded? Because to me that seems even worse than not texting in the first place (although I've never had a girlfriend so I don't know but sometimes I do call my house line and talk to my dog through the answering machine).

Keep going for a video.

Thanks to Bullrush, who senses a breakup app right around the corner.

  • MustacheHam

    Botting is not romance folks.

  • RareAwesomeman

    2 dollars to be a slightly shittier person? awesome!

  • HurleyQuinn

    I don't really have a problem with this. If she's the type of girl who is incredibly freaked out if her boyfriend doesn't contact her every day and doesn't like it if he hangs out with his friends, she kind of deserves an automated text messaging system.

    I'm waiting for the inevitable pranking, where someone decides that it'd be great fun to set up their friend's phone to send a text to various people on user's phone saying that they can't wait to get them in bed. Double hilarity if it's the guy's grandmother.

  • The Magnificent Newtboy

    You're right! So much potential for pranking. I think the best would be changing any incident of the girlfriends name with her mothers, or sisters maybe...

  • xN

    Why not just not date someone who gets incredibly freaked out if you don't text them each and every day and doesn't like when you spend time with your friends?

  • Guest

    because you prefer the female genitalia to be part of that package and the two features are unfortunately mutually exclusive for the most part

  • EdgarAllenPwn

    oh so you clearly don't regularly interact with anyone who owns female genitalia.

  • Vladeon

    The thing about that is it's possible to find someone who has female genitalia but doesn't have to be texted every ten minutes or doesn't care if you hang out with your friends. The idea that the ownership of female genitalia necessitates an overly attached and overbearing personality is a very closed minded thing to say.

  • Guest

    but its a very "Bro" thing to say

  • fdafda

    "what happens when she gets your, "Hey babe, how was your day?" text AND THEN ANSWERS? Why did you ask how my day was and then not say anything after I responded?"

    bro whats the problem? you ask how her day went, she tells you. conversation satisfactorily concluded. was there a question hidden in her answer?

  • Prosy

    This would never work. It never ends at one and that's why this problem exists in the first place.

  • Xankar

    What if you die and your phone remains intact?

  • I think you've got the plot of "P.S. I Love You 2: Lost In New York (and dead)"

  • The Magnificent Newtboy

    That would be hilariously tragic.

  • Jessica Glenn

    my buddy's sister Μ­­­­­­а­­­­­­K­­­­­­е­­­­­­ѕ $­­­­­­­­83 an հ­­­­­­ο­­­­­­ս­­­­­­r on the l­­­­­­а­­­­­­ρ­­­­­­τ­­­­­­ο­­­­­­ρ. She has been without W­­­­­­ο­­­­­­r­­­­­­K for seven Μ­­­­­­ο­­­­­­ո­­­­­­τ­­­­­­հ­­­­­­ѕ but last Μ­­­­­­ο­­­­­­ո­­­­­­τ­­­­­­հ her ρ­­­­­­а­­­­Уment was $­­­­­­­­20567 just W­­­­­­ο­­­­­­r­­­­­­King on the l­­­­­­а­­­­­­ρ­­­­­­τ­­­­­­ο­­­­­­ρ for a Ϝ­­­­­­е­­­­­­W հ­­­­­­ο­­­­­­ս­­­­­­rs. Read more on this ѕ­­­­­­і­­­­­­τ­­­­­­е,... Googleprofitfalls2014likehceqed....

    ▀▀▀ ▀▀▀� ▀▀▀ ▀ ▀ ▀ ▀▀⿿▀▀ ▀ ▀ ▀conversation satisfactorily concluded unless she asked you a question back

  • Xankar

    Just go... go die in a hole. Please!

  • WhiteEagle2

    This is genius, there needs to be a huge variety though. Otherwise they would get suspicious.

  • HurleyQuinn

    They have some pre-set texts, but you can create your own as well.

  • ProphetFlume

    Also helpful for texting your friend "Darl."

  • Guest

    you mean Daryl?

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