You've Gone Too Far: Tactical Laser-Guided Pizza Cutter
This is the Tactical Laser-Guided Pizza Cutter available from ThinkGeek ($20, on sale from $30). It has a detachable laser guide (plus bonus flashlight!) on top to help you cut your pizza straight. I didn't know that was a problem. I could probably cut a pizza straight with my eyes closed. Or cut off all the fingers on my right hand. Still, it'll make a great conversation piece for all the ninja turtles at your next pizza party.
Leonardo: Can you believe he actually paid money for that thing?
Raphael: He's an idiot, I'm just here for the pizza.
Donatello: Why am I everybody's least favorite?
Thanks to 25, whose parents may have had waaaaaaay too many kids.