Me Too: Dogs S#!t In Alignment w/ Earth's Magnetic Field

January 2, 2014


Watch your step, Florida.

In case you were wondering, my Spirit Quest was a huge success and I am returning to reality refreshed AND with the knowledge of my spirit animal. I think it was a coyote, but it was pretty flat and there were a lot of tire tracks.

In news that required way too much watching dogs circle and squat, researchers have discovered that the majority of dogs align themselves with earth's north/south magnetic field before opening the gates to their brownie factories. Anybody have Little Debbie Fudge Brownies in their lunchbox today? I'll be taking those.

...the researchers measured the direction of the body axis of 70 dogs from 37 breeds during 1,893 defecations and 5,582 urinations over the course of two years, and found that dogs "prefer to excrete with the body being aligned along the North-south axis under calm magnetic field conditions." They fittingly published their results in the journal Frontiers in Zoology.

It is still enigmatic why the dogs do align at all, whether they do it 'consciously' (i.e., whether the magnetic field is sensorial perceived (the dogs 'see,' 'hear' or 'smell' the compass direction or perceive it as a haptic stimulus) or whether its reception is controlled on the vegetative level (they 'feel better/more comfortable or worse/less comfortable' in a certain direction). Our analysis of the raw data (not shown here) indicates that dogs not only prefer N-S direction, but at the same time they also avoid E-W direction.

Apparently, all the studies were conducted on dogs that were off-leash and in the middle of a field with no fire hydrants or trees, so don't think your dog is special if it pees or shits facing east. If it shits in my yard though I will come out and yell at you.

Thanks to Rob, who agrees they should only install toilets in north/south facing directions so people stop peeing on the floor.

  • Looks like a "Dave"

    Actually Dogs are just aligning themselves to a position that is best in regards to the Chinese art of 'Dung' Shui.

  • The Magnificent Newtboy

    This is why you never see dogs taking a dump at the north pole...

  • catallergy

    I have noticed that my dog always faces the same direction when taking a dump. She also pretends to squat twice before pooping, just in case someone was waiting to jump out and nab her the second she begins to do her business. It's her version of a hard count.

  • Guest

    quick document it, maybe your dog shits facing mecca instead of santa as proof of variation among doggie deities

  • catallergy

    lol. i actually make that joke all the time. that she has to face towards mecca.

  • Michele Allemand Hayden

    who the hell gets research money for this crap

  • John Becker

    Actually they got research money for 1,893 craps. I agree funding this crap is silly, but funding THESE craps might be worthwhile. ;-)

  • Frédéric Purenne

    Combined with the fact that all mammals take 21 second on average to urinate from your own sources and that the earth's angle of rotation is about the same ammount of degrees than seconds to piss... I think we may be on to something here!

    Keep digging fellas! Cancel research on cancer, we'll find the universe's secret! ... no Fido, not you, I meant looking for scientific stuff, not literally digging.

  • The Magnificent Newtboy

    If we could somehow breed a small pocket sized dog that could be trained to crap on command... there is a new form of navigational equipment right there.

  • Guest

    do they always face north or merely align north/south? because that compass may be only good for saying "well east isn't that way" :,(

  • asdffa

    So this compass it would be shitty yes?

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