I'm Lucky I Survived MIddle School: Man Killed By Wedgie
In news that shouldn't surprise anybody who's been wedgied so hard they could taste elastic, a 58-year old Oklahoma man died after receiving an atomic wedgie (over the head) from his 33-year old stepson. For reference, that is far too f***ing old to be giving people wedgies (wet willies and purple nurples still okay).
Brad Davis was arrested and jailed on Tuesday for killing his step-father, Denver Lee St. Clair. Apparently, the wedgie knocked St. Clair out, causing him to fall and strike his head. While unconscious, St. Clair asphyxiated inside his own briefs (or boxers--from initial reports it's not clear what he was wearing).
Wow, suffocating in your own underwear. That's a pretty shitty way to go. See what I did there? I'm ashamed of it. A MAN DIED HERE.
Thanks to A, who agrees if he'd been wearing a thong this never would have happened.