Geekologie I Watch Stuff The Superficial

Finally, Some Decent Leather Battle Armor For Cats

cat-battle-armor-1.jpg

Cats: like me, they love doing battle. There's nothing more exhilarating in a cat's life than tearing something else with a heartbeat to pieces. This is the cat battle armor made and sold by Etsy shop schnabuble (previously: this cat battle armor). It costs $500, which is why I just cut four leg holes and a head hole in a cardboard box and pushed my cat out the door. Don't come back without a dragon's treasure!

Completely hand-made from durable veg-tan leather, this is no mere costume piece. Your cat will become an unstoppable force for slaughter in this fully articulated suit, shielding him/her from foes while allowing unimpeded movement across the battlefield or living room floor. The imposing torso section features several riveted, articulated plates and a terrifying rack of dorsal spines. Your cat's hindquarters are sheathed beneath exquisitely arrayed overlapping scales stitched to a soft leather backing, adorned with nickel silver dome rivets. Midnight black scales and plates are finished with a glossy protective coat and seamlessly join together like the petals of a deadly flower.

It really does look magnificent, doesn't it? If I had the money (which I do not), I would train a whole battalion of battle cats and send them out to do my bidding. Plus breed one large enough to actually ride myself. Yeah, and it'd be able to fly like a griffin. The world would fear me, and rightfully so because it would also have laserbeam eyes and shit atomic bombs.

Keep going for several more shots of this season's must-have cat accessory.

cat-battle-armor-2.jpg

cat-battle-armor-3.jpg

cat-battle-armor-4.jpg

cat-battle-armor-5.jpg

Thanks to Brian G, who brought his battle cat to the Renaissance Faire where it killed every other knight and was named king even though it was a lady cat. And to Alex B, who apparently knows the guy who makes the armor and can hopefully get me a deal on an armored banana hammock.

There are Comments.
  • jimmy

    Should be wearing a bell on it's collar.

  • MustacheHam

    Battle House-Cat?

  • Tyguy
  • Mayrk Albert

    Obviously you are not versed in the "slight" differences between chain mail and leather armor! And clearly you are unaware of cat preferences!

  • Tyguy

    Hahaha

  • I think the only natural predator of a house cat is your neighbors car. Will the armor protect it from that?

  • Jeremy C. Scott

    20% damage reduction, so he'll be hurt, but it won't be a killing blow.

  • The Magnificent Newtboy

    Based on watching my cat beat the crap out of the next door neighbours, it needs a helmet rather than back protection. Cat war seems to be all about the face...

  • Herostratus356

    I think you forgot an apostrophe...

  • The Magnificent Newtboy

    lol maybe I just have a seriously aggressive cat

  • captain krunk

    of course it will this is leather we're talking about

blog comments powered by Disqus