Alabama Family Tries To Burn Toilet Paper Out Of Tree After Getting TP'd, Burns House To Ashes

January 22, 2014


The Crausewell family of Dora, Alabama, had their lawn and trees toilet papered over the weekend by neighborhood kids. So what did they do? Clean up the best they could and wait for the next rain to dissolve the remaining toilet paper? NOPE, they decided to burn the toilet paper out of the trees. A little bit of Alabama ingenuity as I like to call it (I lived there for 10 years and have experienced it firsthand -- including the time a neighbor wanted to build a bigger garage and decided to try to demo the one he had by driving his truck through the walls). ROLL TIDE. Just kidding, WAR EAGLE. Kidding again -- let's go Hokies!

[Cheryl Crausewell] said they lit a piece of toilet paper on the magnolia tree with a lighter in an attempt to remove it, but wind blew the piece into the yard, setting the grass ablaze.

"It just popped out into a little patch and we tried to put it out and it just kept going, so I was trying to keep it from going down the front porch and came down the bank and around the back of the house," she said.

Within seconds, Crausewell said the fire spread to the backyard where the propane gas tank from a grill may have added fuel to the fire.

"I just realize life is really precious. I mean, you know that already but it just brings it home how precious life is and all these things really don't matter," Crausewell said.

Heck yeah, there's nothing like burning your own house to the ground trying to set toilet paper on fire to realize just how precious life is. Reminds me of the time I realized how precious life is when I blasted myself off the shitter after dropping a match in there with a toilet bowl full of cleaning products. You ever tasted a towel bar before? Every time I swallow.

Thanks to lilco, who agrees getting somebody to burn their own house down definitely ranks up there with the best pranks of all time.

  • Looks like a "Dave"

    When I was a teen I 'removed' the tent caterpillars in our birch tree by using a can of WD40. I ignited the spray with a lighter, torching them off the tree. I ain't even in Alabama.

  • l1qu1d

    Still building houses out of wood, facepalm.

  • Mr. K

    I just moved to Alabama from Oregon a little over a year ago. It's an entirely new world of stupid down here.

  • Jenny Paige Cox

    Clearly ignorance exists in ALL areas of the world . . . CASE IN POINT!!! ^^^

  • dougfunnay

    oh lawdy

    now why wood ya go an do a silly thang like that fer

  • Mr. K

    I'm not saying it's the witness protection program, but I'm not saying it's not. I am saying it sucks, however. :)

  • monkeyspinach

    TP'ing is an annoying and immature prank, but I hope the kids who did it don't get blamed for the house burning down. That part is strictly down to the morons who lived in it.

  • Secrates Early

    around here burning toilet paper out if trees is a common practice, its these extra thick double layer stuff thats ruining everything(burns to long), the cheap single layer paper burns like flashpaper and will only catch the driest of trees on fire.

  • Vladeon

    I wonder if GW is on a list of famous alums from Virginia Tech (hence the "go Hokies" reference), if not then we need to get a petition going! Who's with me? <crickets> I see.

  • Tyguy

    Here I am saving for a house, and these idiots burn theirs down by implementing a terrible strategy. They don't deserve a house.

  • zatoichi

    That little tingle you just felt reading this article? That's just your homeowner's insurance rates going up ever-so-much. Magical.

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