Woof! (I want to sneak my tongue in your mouth)
NoMoreWoof is a mind-reading headset for dogs that translates their thoughts into human language. Things like "I'm tired", "I'm hungry", "I need to pee", and other cues you should already be able to pick up on without having to hear them English. The models available for preorder on Indiegogo:
The NMW Micro $65 A one sensor NMW able to distinguish 2-3 thought patterns, most likely Tiredness, Hunger and Curiosity. Standard English voice option.
The NMW Standard $300
A two sensor version that is able to distinguish 4 or more thought patterns, and can be calibrated to function better with different dogs. Upgradeable software via micro-USB.
The NMW Superior $1,200
Premium mini-speaker implemented in a golden dog-tag with engraving of your choice. Fully customizable color appearance - let it blend in with your dog's fur. Algorithmic learning: NMW superior programs itself while in use, always learning more of how your dog thinks and reacts -over time this option let's your dog speak short sentences ("I'm hungry - but I don't like this")
I don't know, I'd be kind of scared to find out what my dog is thinking. What if he's secretly in love with my leg? What if he wants to kill me? What if he wants to kill me, then run off with my leg? I think some things are best unknown. Plus there's no way in hell he would let me put that on his head.
Keep going for a closeup of the headset and a video about the mind-reader.
Thanks to Marcelo, who is a natural dog-whisperer and doesn't need a mind-reading headset to know when a pet is about to shit on the carpet.