This Giant Cat Couch (Is Cat Shaped, Not For Cats)
This is a giant cat shaped sofa. It doesn't have arms or a back like a traditional sofa though, so it's really more of a giant cat pillow. Whatever you want to call it, I'd sleep on it. "What if I call it a Cozy Kitty?" I'd sleep on a Cozy Kitty! "What about a Cat Napper?" I'd sleep on that too. "What if I called it Derek?" Come on, you know that's my roommate's name. "Would you -- would you sleep on Derek?" You know what? I hope your turkey is overcooked tomorrow. I didn't mean that. I do hope you choke on a bone though. Not long enough to die, just long enough to let you know I willed it with my mind.
Keep going for one more shot sans human.
Thanks again to me, for sticking around the office long enough today for everyone else to leave so I can finally take my pants off and know what that feels like to be pantsless in a place of business.