These are two recipes for Harry Potter butterbeer tasting coffee drinks available at Starbucks. Allegedly they're part of Starbucks' "secret menu", which isn't so much a secret menu as it is a bunch of shit the barrista will have no clue how to make when you try to order it. Plus they'll hate you. Me? I'm a double shot espresso and a splash of cream kind of guy because I'm not at Starbucks to order a $7 McFlurry. As a matter of fact, I'm rarely at Starbucks at all (although I have been known to clog their toilets from time to time). The recipes, cold and warm versions:
A Crème Frappuccino base, made with whole milk (not skim or 2%, which will mess up the consistency)
3 pumps of caramel syrup
3 pumps of toffee nut syrup
Top with caramel drizzle
Whole milk steamer
Caramel syrup (2 pumps for a tall, 3 for grande, 4 for venti)
Toffee nut syrup (2 pumps for a tall, 3 for grande, 4 for venti)
Cinnamon Dolce syrup (2 pumps for a tall, 3 for grande, 4 for venti)
Top with whipped cream and salted caramel bits
Optional: 1 shot of espresso (2 for a grande or venti)
Apparently these recipes will only be orderable during the holiday season because Starbucks doesn't carry toffee nut syrup year round. "Thank God," said every person currently working at Starbucks. But seriously, I'm tired of all you barristas drawing penises on my coffee cups -- that's not my name. "Did you not say your name was Dick Drawing?" I did, but it's my name, not a picture. Stop being so insensitive.
Thanks to carrie, who told me she made butterbeer at home with equal parts beer and butter and puked harder than she ever has in her life.